


The Art of Living (Life as a Character in a Manga)

by samsarapine



Category: Saiyuki
Genre: Blanket Permission, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-09-17
Updated: 2011-09-17
Packaged: 2017-10-23 19:39:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 27,578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/254104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/samsarapine/pseuds/samsarapine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One weekday, during the morning rush hour, Sha Jien had public sex with a stranger on a train.  Unusual, yes.  But the incident with the <i>bento</i> box was when reality <i>really</i> raised the white flag.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Art of Living (Life as a Character in a Manga)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sekaiseifuku](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sekaiseifuku/gifts).



> **Warnings: Incest.** _Horrible_ misuse of an _onsen_ pool. Romantic cliches up the wazoo. Zakuro. For those of you allergic to the 1980s, there's also a nod to one of my favorite '80's movies, "American Dreamer."
> 
>  **Author's notes:** I want to thank Silverr, my beta extraordinaire (you so totally rock); kanzeon_bosatsu for being the most incredible, generous and lovely person in the world (and for putting up with me); and finally, Sekaiseifuku, who gave me a wonderful prompt. ♥ I touched it last, so any remaining mistakes are mine.

**The Art of Living (Life as a Character in a Manga)**

 

Sha Jien slid between people until he found a spot for the long, mindless train ride to Shibuya Station, braced against the partition in a corner near a door and pressed between a group of office workers and a group of several students dressed in the uniforms of an elite private high school. Avoiding the eyes of his fellow passengers with practiced ease, he looked for something else to occupy his attention.

Conveniently, opposite him was an advertisement featuring an impossibly beautiful man with a curtain of long, red hair falling around his naked shoulders, selling… something. Perhaps clothing, although he certainly wasn't wearing much. Soft fur trailed from his navel into the artistically-arranged open waistband of his silk trousers-sans-underwear, inviting consumers to imagine following the seductive path to its conclusion. Which was likely their pocketbook, Jien figured.

Not his problem. A mangaka didn't make silk trouser money. Sometimes he was glad if he made instant ramen money.

But he didn't mind ramen. It was cheap, it was filling, and it gave him that many more yen to continue his search.

He brushed his fingers across the notepad in his breast pocket and thought about the address written inside, wanting to hope, yet not wanting to be disappointed again, because each time it hurt more than the last.

 _Will I find him this time?_

He closed his eyes. The blond detective had been surly, unpleasant and had smoked like a chimney in between yelling at his assistant, who was as hyper as they came. But, unlike others before him, he'd seemed honest, if only because he didn't seem to give a shit about anything but getting the job done.

Wait until he knew for sure. Until then, it would be better to think about something else.

The problem was, there wasn't much to distract him at the moment. Air-conditioning on the train had been sacrificed to the rolling blackouts from the nuclear disaster. His shirt stuck to his back and under his arms; hidden, thankfully, by his suit jacket. The unpleasant odor of sweat and perfume and aftershave mingled with the stench of hot plastic and electricity, and the polite murmurs he could overhear between his fellow passengers were dull, focused on office politics and budding teen romances.

He looked at the male model on the advertisement again, vaguely wistful for the exotic life promised by the man's seductive pose. He'd give everything – not that he had much – if he could find the one red-haired man he'd been searching for ever since he'd left the orphanage.

He buried his hope again. No use wishing for things he didn't have until he knew he really had them.

He could plan the next chapter of _Futatsu no Sekai_. It would give him something to focus on other than the address in his pocket. He needed to get the next chapter storyboarded in the next couple of days so his team could start the layout process, anyway.

He'd ended with Prince Gojyo devastated by his lover's betrayal. The prince needed to recover from the stab wound and Gonou's malice, and he also needed to deal with his father's vow that the youkai world would declare war against the humans who had tried to murder his son.

 _What if the prince's bodyguard, Doku, took Prince Gojyo to an _onsen_ to heal, and humans were there, too? Gojyo's always been interested in humans because Gonou's one, and so was the mother that Gojyo never knew. Maybe continue to develop the attraction between Prince Gojyo and Doku, too, now that Gonou's out of the picture. That's a heck of a lot to cover. I wonder if _ Menzu Rabu _would give me more pages for_ Futatsu no Sekai _this month?_

He'd have to ask his editor later.

So, imagine the storyboard.

 _Opening/Title: Betrayal. Front cover, full page, Prince Gojyo, lying in bed, wounded, staring up at Gonou in disbelief. Gonou leaning over him, a knife in his hand, looking murderous._

 _Page one, setting: Palace halls. First frame, close-up of Doku, a worried look on his face. Second frame [Doku's point of view], Prince Gojyo standing shirtless by an open window, staring outside. His ribs are bandaged. Third frame, close-up of Gojyo's profile, his hair hiding his face, three labels superimposed: "Gonou." "How could you?" "Why?"_

 _Page two, frame one, close-up, Gojyo's hand on his ribs, bandage has blood on it. Fill the rest of the page with multiple frames showing the horrors of war. Dialogue. D: Gojyo-sama?; G: …; D: Wishing that things were different will never bring him back.; G: Father's declared war.; D: …; G: I don't want to fight humans.; D: You need time to think.; D: Let me take you somewhere--_

A soft "excuse me" recalled him to the real world, and he saw that they were stopped at a platform. He caught a glimpse of vivid red while he pressed himself harder against the clear acrylic partition to make room; he tried not to think about how his elbow pressed into a woman's left breast. She caught his eye and he smiled politely and bowed his head in apology. Her expression relaxed and she gave him a small smile and head bow of her own before turning back to her conversation.

A flash of red caught his eye again and he turned his head.

At first glance he thought, _that's a hell of a tall woman._ Red hair cascaded from a ponytail secured high at the back of the person's head, and the profile was strong yet delicate, the bone structure defined and attractive.

Then the person turned, and Jien realized that the 'tall woman' was in reality the most fucking gorgeous man he'd ever seen.

The man's eyes were hidden behind sunglasses, but Jien could just make out a lovely, exotic tilt to them behind the lenses. Gojyo's hair had been blood red, too, but if Gojyo had grown up to look like that... well, it would have been nice if Jien had been gifted with those genes, too, that's all. And a damned shame besides, since having sex with him would be incest and this man was hot in a way that made Jien pretty damned interested. He was gorgeous, something out of Jien's wet dreams, a presence that shone bright amongst the press of drab people packed between them.

It was almost as if the poster Jien had been staring at had come to life and boarded the train. The memory of the soft trail of hair leading into open trousers sprang into his mind. Desire bloomed: Jien imagined the feel of his body, the taste of his mouth, the bulk of the man's cock against his tongue--

 _Don't go there. Not on a train._

But on the other hand, it didn't mean he couldn't enjoy himself by imagining things a little less provocative. Although the car was packed, people left a space around the man. Jien had a clear view of the man's wiry, slim frame and legs that looked about a thousand miles long. Jeans rode low on the man's hips, displaying a portion of golden skin, the dip of a navel and - _fuck, yes!_ \- the furred path leading lower, the curve of a jutting hipbone. Jien imagined running his fingers across the warm expanse before slipping below the waistband of the jeans, and could feel himself flush.

What would those legs feel like, wrapped around Jien's waist as he pushed into the man's body? He imagined exotic eyes, lids heavy, hot with desire. He'd be unrestrained in bed, lithe enough to contort into whatever position Jien wanted and passionate enough to make Jien do some contorting of his own. Jien shivered, envisioning sweat-dampened red hair that spilled across a pillow and nestled in the curve where neck met shoulder.

Then the guy turned and locked gazes with him.

Jien tried to turn away, but he couldn't. He wasn't sure what it was, but there was something about the man. He wanted to know the guy, and felt like if he looked away or closed his eyes, the man would vanish.

The man didn't seem bothered by his stare. In fact, he raised an eyebrow as he checked out Jien in turn, and Jien really, _really_ wished he were wearing leather, or at least a designer silk suit instead of polyester, no matter how good the cut had looked in the store. He went red with embarrassment and finally forced himself to look away.

Staring was inappropriate. Fantasizing was worse. He was on a train. Packed into a car with dozens of strangers. Public.

But the guy was gorgeous.

He stole another glimpse to give his fantasies fodder and the man was still staring back. He licked his lips and it was all Jien could to keep himself from pushing past the other passengers and start sucking on the man's pink tongue.

A smirk played across the man's face.

The fantasy burst.

 _He's mocking me._

Jien turned his back to the man. Fine, he was being rude, he knew it, but the guy didn't have to laugh at him.

The train began to slow for the next station, and people began to shift around him to get off. Someone pressed behind him, and he automatically moved a bit to make room.

"I don't mind you staring," a low voice rumbled softly. "You look damned sexy, too."

Jien's mouth went dry. The man. It had to be. He started to look over his shoulder, but paused when a warm hand pressed into his side.

"No. Not yet." He shivered as the man's breath brushed across his ear. "I don't want you to look. Just listen to my voice."

Jien hesitated, then grabbed the pole closest to him to keep his knees from buckling.

A hand covered his on the pole, warm and strong, and he felt the stranger push closer.

"When I saw you staring, all I could think was, 'fuck, that guy is hot.'" the murmur continued. "Do you know how gorgeous you are?" The man's body was hard against Jien's back. "How damned sexy your body is, so tall, so built?"

"Genetics," Jien murmured back. Did this guy really want to do what Jien thought he'd do?

"Mmm. If I could get you off this train, I'd like to see more of your genetics." The man leaned forward to press his cheek against Jien's neck, and a long ribbon of red hair tumbled over Jien's shoulder.

Sex on a train. He was about to have sex on a train. Could this really be happening?

Maybe the guy was a thief. Maybe the man was actually after his wallet. If so, he was in for a disappointment, since Jien never carried one, and his cash was safe in his breast pocket along with the notebook. All the guy could take would be his train ticket.

A stolen train ticket would be a small price to pay if the guy turned out to be a crook, because the way the guy touched him made Jien feel amazing. He was rock-hard and pressed almost flat against the plastic divider, the man's rigid cock nestled in the valley of his ass.

He pushed back, and felt more than heard a breath that might have been a groan.

The guy's hand tightened on his waist. "You're evil, aren't you? I hope like hell you're not a cock tease."

Jien smiled and murmured, "If I am, it's not my fault you're falling for it."

A chuckle rumbled behind him, and the hand on his waist slid forward and dropped. Jien suppressed a curse and tried not to come in his only pair of dress trousers. "If you're just teasing me, it feels like you'll have blue balls, too."

"If we get caught, maybe we can share a jail cell."

"We're not getting caught. I promise." The hand started rubbing against Jien's bulge, firm and steady, strangely soothing as well as arousing. "Just hold still and listen while I tell you what I want to do to you…"

 _"Shibuya Station. Please disembark here to connect with Keio Inokashira, Tokyu Den-en-toshi, Ginza--"_

Fuck! His stop! Jien blinked at the display in shock, his heart pounding and a stranger's hand on his genitals.

The body behind him suddenly disappeared. Jien glanced back, but the stranger was gone. His stop. He had to get off. Erect and aching, Jien allowed the mass of people exiting the train to sweep him along with them.

As he stepped onto the platform, he felt someone press a piece of paper into his hand. He tried to see who it was, but the tide continued to flow and he was carried with it, though he thought he'd caught a glimpse of red. He stumbled a bit, still hard and clumsy with it, and realized he'd have to do something about his erection before he got to the street. He stuffed the slip of paper into his pocket, spotted a sign for a toilet and headed toward it.

Maybe the stranger needed to finish himself, too. Maybe he'd be in the stall next to him, or washing his hands at the sink when Jien entered. Maybe he'd drop to his knees and take Jien into his mouth...

Jien cursed his over-active imagination.

The bathroom was empty, stalls half-open and unoccupied. He slipped into the nearest one, grabbed some toilet paper, unzipped, and pulled out his aching cock.

Red hair, brushing his stomach while a talented mouth sucked. Red hair, wrapped around his prick while he was being jerked off. Red strands sticking to sweaty skin as Jien thrust into a tight ass and bit the nape of the man's neck...

When he was done, he leaned his forehead against the cool metal partition and tried to catch his breath, half-hoping that he would hear the door open and catch a glimpse of red hair through the gaps of the stall.

The door stayed closed and silent. Jien sighed and adjusted himself before zipping his fly.

He was lucky no one had noticed him, either on the train or in the bathroom. The last thing he needed was to be arrested for public indecency.

But still...

He thought of the husky sound of the man's deep voice, the motion and grace of the man's hand rubbing against his cock.

He'd give his left ball to do it again. And without worrying about a damned stop, next time.

He flushed the wad of toilet paper and remembered the paper he'd been given. He pulled it out.

It contained a scribbled phone number and a short message.

 _Next time, I want to see you in jeans and a tight black t-shirt._

 _He gave me his phone number._ In a daze, he left the stall, washed his hands, and re-joined the mass of humanity flowing through Shibuya Station.

Now, where was he going?

Jien groaned. Oh, hell. He'd got so caught up with the guy that he'd completely forgotten about the address.

The sense of urgency that he'd felt earlier returned.

He needed to know if this time, he'd finally found Gojyo.

He emerged from the relative darkness of the train station, ducked under some scaffolding, saw the crowd at the crosswalk and waited in its shelter, out of the hot sun.

The light changed.

Above him, he heard a man cry out in alarm.

Pain exploded through Jien's head.

*****

"No bone fracture," a voice said. Gentle fingers ran over his head and something tightened around his arm.

He opened his eyes.

He was lying on a hot sidewalk under a clear blue sky, two men leaning over him; beyond them, a sea of curious, alarmed faces stared. Two police officers stood in front of the onlookers. They repeated, "Move back, please continue on your business," but nobody seemed to be paying them any attention. He blinked against the sun and wished his head didn't hurt so damned badly.

Looking around for a clue, he saw a vehicle parked next to him. An ambulance. He must have been hurt somehow, and these men were medics.

"His blood pressure's fine," one of the two men said, loosening the cuff from around his arm.

"What's going on?" he asked. A memory leaked into the haze: he needed to go somewhere. It was urgent he find someone.

The second man turned to him. "Ah, you're back with us. How do you feel?"

Something was wrong. It was hard to think. But he couldn't let them take him to a hospital, because it was vital he find what he was searching for. "I'm fine," he lied, hoping they'd take his word for it.

"We still need to check you out," the second man said. "Just to make sure. Are you feeling pain anywhere other than your head?"

"No. Really, I'm fine. What happened?" He tried to sit up, but the man gently pressed him back to the sidewalk.

"A _bento_ box fell on you."

"A _bento_?" His head hurt more than a _bento_ 's worth of pain. How much was a _bento_ 's worth of pain, anyway? And what the hell...? "Why was a _bento_ falling on me?"

"A construction worker accidentally dropped it." The second man failed to hide a smile.

"It's one for our books," said the first man, stowing the cuff. "Never treated anyone concussed by a _bento_ before."

They were laughing at him. He hesitantly grinned back, hoping to get them to leave him alone. "Funny coincidence, then. I've never been the victim of a _bento_ before. There was the time I got hit by a Ramune bottle, though..." A memory floated just below his consciousness, then sank. He tried to chase after it, but his mind seemed clouded and sluggish.

Both men laughed. The second one shone a small light into his eyes. "Can you tell me your name?"

He blinked against the glare. His name. Oh, fuck. His name. He couldn't remember his name. He couldn't tell them that, though. He still had to find someone. He thought fast. "My friends call me 'Baka'."

The two emergency medics laughed again. "I think he's fine," the first one said. "His eyes are responsive."

"Let's just finish the test so we can write the report and turn it in," the other replied, still grinning. "How many fingers am I holding up?"

Much easier. "Three."

"How old are you?"

"Do I have to answer that?" he asked, trying to sound smart-ass.

The medic shook his head and laughed. "Do you think you can stand up?"

With the two men supporting him, he rose to his feet. A wave of dizziness swept him and immediately receded, though the headache remained. "I'm fine," he said, hoping they hadn't noticed.

The men let him go. "Lucky you have a hard head."

"Yeah," he answered, rubbing the bump. "Too bad I can't dodge faster, though."

The two men laughed. While the second man started packing up their equipment, the first cautioned him. "Make sure you see your doctor if your headache gets worse or you get dizzy or have problems with fuzzy vision."

He nodded and repeated, "I'm fine," then carefully bowed to prevent another dizzy spell. "Thank you very much for your care."

"It was our honor," the second man said, bowing back. "Just be careful and go to your doctor if you need to." He snapped the locks closed on his equipment and got into the passenger side of the ambulance. "Good bye!" he said, leaning out of his window and waving.

He waved back, and then, embarrassed by all of the attention, he hurried away from the accident scene. He needed to go through his pockets. He was probably carrying a wallet or something that could tell him who he was and where he lived. Heart pounding, he dodged other pedestrians and started looking for a quiet spot so he could figure out who the hell he was.

And more importantly, who the hell he needed to find.

*****

Fifteen minutes later, he rubbed his face in frustration. No wallet, no business cards, no smartphone, no train pass, though he had plenty of money. Otherwise, he had a slip of paper with a phone number and a cryptic message, and a little black notebook tucked into the inside pocket of his suit jacket. He must have lost the rest when he was knocked down. With luck, someone would turn it into the police. But how the hell was he supposed to ask the police if they had his wallet if he didn't even know his name? The utter futility of the situation made him groan out loud.

The notebook was full of crossed-out notes, and had a number of pages torn out. For some reason, his heart ached as he turned each remaining page, the methodical determination of the writer – himself? – reflected in the systematic way the information in the notebook was entered and purged.

Except for one page.

He stared at the address printed in neat characters.

*****

 

The taxi let him off at a highrise in Roppongi. He ignored the business addresses of high-end attorneys and medical specialists and focused instead on the huge glass elevator that lead to the private apartments on the upper floors.

Thankfully, there was no elevator attendant. He entered the elevator, hit the correct button, and tried not to get sick when the ground fell away around him as he sped upward. When the elevator stopped, he stepped out and paused to straighten his clothes.

Then he knocked at the door in front of him.

The door opened, and suddenly he knew everything: his name, why he had come here, and, most importantly, who the man in front of him was.

He fell to one knee and bowed his head.

*****

"Hey, Hakkai!" Gojyo called as he entered his apartment. Hakkai would be able to help him. "You around?"

Hakkai came out of the small office he had set up in Gojyo's den. "We have a problem."

"Fuck problems. Guess what happened?"

"I'd be happy to talk to you about your day later. Now, however, we have a prob-"

"There was this guy on the train--" Gojyo grinned. The look on the guy’s face when he’d checked Gojyo out had been a real turn-on. "He was perfect. So goddamn sexy. We started having sex, right there on the train. I want to hire a detective to find him so I can finish having sex with him. Think you can write it off as a business expense for me?"

Hakkai crinkled his eyes and smiled in a way that told Gojyo he was treading on thin ice. "I'm sure finding the stranger with whom you've started having sex on a train would be very nice. However, I'm sure that your _accountant_ would not be open to writing off a sexual encounter as a legitimate modeling expense. Nor would I, if I were actually an accountant and not your _agent_. Now, please listen to me. We have a larger problem that requires immediate action. It's Banri."

Gojyo threw his sunglasses on the black granite bar and headed for Hakkai's netbook, which was lying open and dwarfed by the huge expanse of glass that a designer had assured Gojyo was a simple coffee table. Gojyo just liked the fact that he could put his feet up on it and still have room for his beer and food. "What's the asshole been up to now? And hey, do you know the name of a good detective, or should I just Google?"

Deftly scooping his tiny computer from Gojyo's hands, Hakkai said, "You may want to consider talking to the police, first. He cleaned you out."

"Who cleaned me out?"

"Gojyo!"

Hakkai was pissed, not just pissy. "Sorry," he said. "I'm listening."

"Banri cleaned you out."

"Banri cleaned me out," Gojyo parroted. "Uh, what do you mean, 'cleaned me out'?"

"I mean that he took everything. Your jewelry is gone – even the things that were on loan from Shinji Ginza for the nightclub shoot – your emergency cash, your collection of framed vintage hostess club posters, your home entertainment system, the contents of your bar, your credit cards, and all of your important papers including your passport, your deed to this apartment, your bank book–"

"Not the key to the back door of the Lex!" Gojyo interrupted, alarmed. "Tell me he left that."

"–And the key to the back door of the Lex." Hakkai sighed. "Knowing Banri, I suspect that was the first item in his satchel. Really, Gojyo, is that what's most important to you?"

"Damn it! How the hell am I supposed to get into the high stakes games if I can't even get in the fucking back door? Not to mention the chicks." Gojyo sighed. "Never mind the babes, I want the guy from the train."

"Are you even listening to me?"

"Yeah, Banri cleaned me out, I know." Gojyo dropped to the leather sectional and pulled out his Hi Lites. Banri had always been a loser. "We grew up in the orphanage together, Hakkai. He's been my friend since we were kids, and my on-and-off fuck buddy since we figured out what to do with our dicks. I know what kind of prick he is, and I'm not surprised. He'd steal Tokyo Tower if he could figure a way to get it out of the country."

Hakkai sighed and sat next to him. "You don't seem very upset."

Gojyo shrugged. "It's not like I'm afraid of being broke or anything." He lit a cigarette and blew out a stream of smoke. "So I might have to move out of this joint? So what? I can make more money. I've still got my looks and I figure most tables will give me a stake if I need a starter in a game or two. Besides, you've got me booked for photo gigs through next spring, don't you?"

"Apparently almost having sex on a train has given you a sense of perspective I wouldn't have imagined you having." Hakkai began to type rapidly on the computer. "I've contacted your attorneys, your personal banker and your investment portfolio manager, by the way. Your trust funds, your safety deposit box, your bank accounts and your investments are safe, at least."

"See? You already have everything under control. Thanks, by the way. As far as what the police won't be able to recover?" Gojyo shrugged. "I'm a gambler. Easy come, easy go. Do private detectives take credit cards?"

"Unlikely, if the card has been reported to be stolen by one's former boyfriend." Hakkai paused and looked up. "You're taking this unusually well. Should I ask you where you've hidden the real Sha Gojyo?"

Gojyo waved away Hakkai's concern. "I just don't feel like being pissed off over something that was bound to happen anyway." The nicotine rush was just what he'd needed after the mind-blowing sex he'd started. Too bad they hadn't been able to finish; he'd really wanted to see what the guy looked like when he was coming and trying to hide it. They just didn't make 'em like that these days. Tall, dark, piercing eyes and a body so ripped that not even the ugly polyester off-the-rack jacket the guy had been wearing could hide it.

"Gojyo, please stop fantasizing and press your finger against my smartphone pad."

Gojyo grinned and stubbed out his cigarette in an ashtray. "Is that what they're calling it these days? I didn't think you swung that way." He pressed his finger on the screen presented to him.

"Don't try to label me," Hakkai said. "I need your fingerprint scanned to start the process of getting a new passport. Besides which, you could never keep up with me."

Gojyo snorted, though he suspected Hakkai was right. Still, it was never smart to fold before the action even started. "Want to lay a wager?"

"Not particularly." Hakkai finished typing in a few more codes before he closed the computer and sat back to stretch his shoulders. "Please tell me that you didn't actually have public sex on a train."

"Nobody was watching."

"Do you think this will become a habit?"

"Only if I can figure out which train that guy is riding. He got off at Shibuya." Gojyo shrugged as Hakkai gave him a disapproving look. "Look, I know it sounds stupid, but there was something about this guy." He decided to be up front with Hakkai, and met his gaze without joking. "I want to meet him again. I've _got_ to meet him again. This guy felt different."

Hakkai studied him. "Are you sure this isn’t simply... a new thrill?"

"I'm not a thrill seeker!" Hakkai's expression didn't change and Gojyo relented. "Well, okay, yeah, I like my sex a little exotic sometimes. But I don't get my kicks from trying to get caught. It wasn't the situation. It was the guy. It was all about the guy. It’s funny."

"What is?"

Gojyo shrugged. "It's just – I can't shake the idea that I know him from somewhere." Suddenly restless, he stood. "Did Banri leave any beer behind?"

"Just the Sapporo that went bad."

"Good enough."

Hakkai followed him over to the bar, looking thoughtful. "Are you truly serious about finding this man?"

Popping the top of a can of warm beer, Gojyo paused. "I don't know. Like I said, it really feels different. I mean, I've never trusted Banri. He just fucks damned good and has a smart-ass kind of humor. But when I saw this guy, it was like I trusted him, like I knew there was no way he'd ever try to screw me over. I want to get to know him." He was sure they'd met before, but where?

Hakkai rubbed his eyes as if he had a headache. "Gojyo. I'm pleased to see you finally willing to be so open to the possibility of a relationship. But as a friend, I have to advise caution about a relationship with someone with whom your only interaction was public train sex." He paused and looked thoughtful. "Now that I think of it, I wonder if the theme of 'strangers falling in love on the train' might work for the new Yamano apparel line."

"Stop making my personal life into photo shoots, you ass--" Gojyo was interrupted by a knock at the door. "Did you order out?"

Hakkai shook his head.

"Then who the hell is knocking?" Gojyo put the beer on the counter and looked at Hakkai. "Look, don't worry about it. I'll figure something out. You just deal with the Banri shit." Gojyo punched Hakkai lightly on the shoulder and grinned at him.

He caught the shadow of an answering smile on Hakkai's face. Fuck. Hakkai was his best friend. He was just looking out for him. He'd get rid of whoever it was, help Hakkai a little if he needed it, maybe go out and get some fresh beer so that they could have a few drinks together and watch one of those chick flicks that Hakkai liked so much.

After that he could figure out how the hell he was going to track down the guy from the train. With luck, he'd call soon.

"Look, I'm busy right now–" he said, opening the door.

The man from the train stood in front of him. _Correction_ , Gojyo noted, bemused and staring. _He's kneeling, now._ Did he want to suck Gojyo off in the doorway or something?

"Gojyo-sama." The man's voice was deep and impossibly sexy, full and confident, heavy with the dark promise of not-so-nice-but-sexually-spectacular activities.

Gojyo could only continue to stare. "Uh..."

"Gojyo," Hakkai called. "What's wrong?"

The guy looked up. "Prince Gojyo," he said, his voice gentle and respectful. "May I come in?"

"It's the guy," Gojyo managed to reply.

Hakkai was at his side in a moment. "I see." Hakkai examined the kneeling man. "Well, you were certainly right. He's different."

"Shut up," Gojyo snapped, running his hand through his hair and trying to figure out if this could really be happening to him.

"Your Highness?"

"Not you. Him. Uh, come in?"

The man stood with a grace that made Gojyo's mouth go drier than it already was. Gojyo checked out his ass as he walked past, since the opportunity was handed to him on a platter like that. The guy stopped once he was inside and turned to him, and Gojyo had to fight to keep his deep appreciation for the muscular backside from making him drool.

"You may want to close the door, Gojyo," Hakkai prompted.

"Uh, yeah." Gojyo belatedly closed the door. "What are you doing here? Weren't you supposed to call me?"

The man looked confused for a moment. "No, I'm sure I was to meet you here, Gojyo-sama."

There was a moment of silence as Gojyo stared at the guy and the guy stared back, a respectful and expectant expression on his face.

Hakkai broke the impasse. "Crossed wires, it appears." He gave Gojyo a warning look before he smiled in a fake kind of way and extended his hand to the man. "I'm Gojyo's agent, Cho Hakkai. And you are..?"

"Gakuji Doku. Prince Gojyo's bodyguard and retainer."

"My, my," Hakkai said. Gojyo glanced at him; something in Hakkai's voice made him wary, and the expression on Hakkai's face didn't reassure him, especially when he turned to smile at Gojyo. "Why wasn't I notified of your promotion?"

"Shut it," Gojyo snapped. "Ah, Gakuji-san. What are you doing here?"

Gakuji inclined his head. "While I am honored, Your Highness, please, just call me Doku. I am here to serve you."

"Okay." Gojyo scratched his neck. "Wait. What?"

Dark eyes met his, intense and so focused that Gojyo's stomach tightened in knots. "I am here to serve you, Your Highness," Doku repeated, his voice unwaveringly polite.

"Uh, what do you mean, 'serve'?"

A bewildered frown crossed the man's face as if he wasn't quite sure, but was replaced almost immediately by the focused expression that Gojyo was rapidly falling in lust with.

"I know that you've been betrayed," Doku said. "You need to get away, take some time to think."

"Betrayal," Gojyo echoed. How the hell did the guy know about Banri? "Er, what were you thinking about?"

"Your Majesty." Doku bowed. "I would like to take you to an _onsen_ for a few days."

Holy fuck. This was better than a royal flush in a game with Donald Trump betting it all on one hand.

"An _onsen_?" Gojyo's voice broke a bit as he imagined Doku naked in a bathing pool, waiting for him. "The two of us?"

Hakkai fake-smiled at Doku again. "Would you please excuse us for a moment?" Not waiting for a reply, he pulled Gojyo around to face him and leaned close to him.

"Gojyo," Hakkai said, _sotto voce_. "I would never question your judgment, of course, but you do realize that it's not normal for a stranger whom you've only seen once on a train –"

"–and don't forget had public sex with–" Gojyo whispered back. "And you question my judgment all of the time."

"–and had public sex with – without knowing _who he is_ , I might emphasize – to suddenly show up at your door and offer to take you to an _onsen_ , don't you?"

"This is unreal," Gojyo whispered, completely stunned by his good fortune. "I can't believe this is happening." He turned to Doku and asked, "Which _onsen_?"

Hakkai dragged him away. "That's not the point," he hissed. "Gojyo, you should call the police immediately! This man could be dangerous. Or worse, he could be some paparazzi trying to obtain embarrassing photos, or some television host filming for a prank show who will make you look ridiculous in front of thousands of viewers!"

Gojyo shook his head. "I trust him, Hakkai. I know it's crazy, but I know I'm okay with him."

"Well, I don't, and since I'm the only person in the room who appears to be even marginally sane at the moment, I have to point out to you that he's calling you _'Your Majesty'_!"

"Yeah, about that." Gojyo turned back to Doku. "Hey, um, hey. Just call me Gojyo, okay? None of the 'your majesty' shit. We're all friends here. And, um," Gojyo couldn't believe it, but he felt almost shy, which was sort of fucking scary, but nice, too. "You sure I can call you Doku?"

"Of course, Your Maj – I mean, of course, Gojyo-sama."

"Just Gojyo."

Doku nodded. "Gojyo."

"You may call me Cho-san," Hakkai said, dangerously friendly.

"Hakkai—" Gojyo protested.

"Cho-san," Hakkai repeated, his smile fixed.

"Of course, Cho-san," Doku said, bowing.

There was an awkward pause while Gojyo tried to figure out if it was wrong to seduce someone who might have a few screws loose if you've already almost had sex, when he noticed something. "Doku. Is that blood?"

Doku put a hand to his head; his fingers came back slightly red. "I had an accident on the way over. I'm fine. Medics already checked it out."

"But it's on your jacket and your shirt." Fucking _fantastic_. Now Gojyo had an excuse to undress him. "I've got loads of clothes. Let me get you something while you take a shower and wash up." He could barely keep himself from leering. Double-bonus on the shower excuse! They were all guys, here. There wasn't anything to stop him from taking towels and clothes into the bathroom. He'd never felt more damned thankful that Hakkai had indulged his wish for a clear glass walk-in shower with multiple shower heads. Doku would have water hitting him _everywhere_!

"Thank you." Doku inclined his head in a small bow. "I would appreciate that."

Gojyo dragged Doku into his bedroom and headed straight for the first set of closet doors. "You're a little taller than me and your chest and shoulders are probably twice as broad as mine, but..." he rummaged through racks of shirts, jackets and trousers. "Here, try this. And this. Oh, fuck, yeah, try this, Ican'twaittofuckingseeyou – ah, I mean, it should fit pretty good. Or maybe this. Or this."

Doku stared at the pile of clothing in his arms, a bemused look on his face. "I think I have enough to choose from, thank you," he said.

"Just one other thing," Gojyo said, searching frantically. "My leather pants. I can't find my pants. Banri took my goddamn leather pants!"

"Gakuji-san will have to make due with something else, then," Hakkai said, leaning in the doorway of the bedroom with disapproval leaking from every pore.

"I'll be fine with what you've given me, Gojyo-sam-- Gojyo. Thank you."

Gojyo nodded, still pissed about the loss of the black leather that would have showcased Doku's ass like a gold frame around some pricy painting. "I hope Banri gets 'em wet and chafes," he muttered.

"Amazing. A man steals everything from you and all you get angry about is a pair of leather trousers," Hakkai murmured.

"Here's the bathroom." Gojyo dragged Doku behind him, ignoring Hakkai's comment, though he did shoot him a warning look. "I'll get you some towels. Use whatever stuff you find in there." He paused outside. "Did you want any help? Um, I mean, like washing your hair or anything?"

Doku's eyebrows rose, but he smiled politely. "No, thank you. I can manage." He closed the door behind him, and a moment later Gojyo heard the shower start.

"Honestly!" Hakkai said.

"I'm being a good host," Gojyo replied, narrowing his eyes and daring him to continue.

Hakkai wasn't intimidated, which didn't surprise Gojyo a bit as he was dragged back into the living room. "Gojyo, this is insanity. We have to call the police."

"It's okay. Don't worry."

"You have a stranger in your shower who thinks you're a prince!"

"He's very polite," Gojyo defended. "Just trust me. Okay?"

Hakkai seemed to deflate. "Yes, you're right. He _is_ very polite. But he's also detached from reality," he added, his voice oddly gentle. "You have excellent instincts. And you're right, over the years I've learned to trust them. But Gojyo, don't you see? This isn't like you at all. You're usually as cynical as I am when it comes to meeting people. And even if you're right in saying that he won't harm you, what about the harm you might inadvertently to do to him? He needs help. Help that you probably can't give him."

Hakkai's arguments made sense, they really did. But every instinct in Gojyo told him one thing, and one thing only: he couldn't let Doku walk away and take the chance of losing him. He rubbed his nose and wished he had another cigarette. "Crap. You're right. I know you're right. But being right isn't the right thing right now." He winced. "What I mean is... damn it, Hakkai. I can't let him go. Something tells me that if I push him away, or hand him over to the cops, or even call in a doctor to talk to him, it's gonna hurt him more than anything I could ever do to him on my own, and something really, really important is going to get broken. I think he needs me, Hakkai. And even though I know you think I'm crazy, I think I need him."

"Gojyo," Hakkai said softly. He sighed. "All right. But I'm going to stick around, just in case."

It was less than ideal, but Gojyo knew that Hakkai wouldn't budge, so he went with it. "Let's just play it by ear, okay?"

A knock sounded at the door before Hakkai could answer.

"What the hell is this, Tokyo Station?" Gojyo muttered. He stalked across the room and yanked the door open. "What do you –?"

A tall man with pale hazel eyes, strangely pointed, elf-like ears and tarnished-gold hair pushed into the room. He wore black leather jeans and an open, sleeveless black vest that swept around his feet, with black open-fingered leather gloves and biker boots, and brandished knuckle dusters hung with what looked like miniature jingle bells. "You cannot escape me!"

"What the fuck?" Gojyo stared. "Who the hell are you? And get the hell out of my apartment!"

A creepy smile stretched across the man's face. "I am the Great Zakuro! I'm here to squeeze the debt that your lover, Banri, owes to my associates – out of your blood and bones!"

"Since it appears I'm not needed here..." Hakkai said vaguely, heading toward the kitchen.

"You! Stay!" Gojyo shouted at him. He whirled to face the intruder and pointed at the door. "You! Get the hell out before I call the cops!"

"No!" Zakuro placed his fists on his hips and pushed out his chest, making his open vest flare around his ankles. "I shall not leave until you have appeased the wrath of Kougaiji-sama!"

Gojyo couldn't believe the idiot. "Banri skipped out on both of us, Sugar Toes. I'm eating my loss. I advise your boss to eat his, too. There's no way in hell I'm paying for Banri's assholery."

Zakuro flung a hand at Gojyo, index finger stabbing in emphasis. "If you do not pay your lover's debts, I shall turn your minds into black holes of despair through my amazing powers of hypnosis!"

A detached part of Gojyo's mind noted that his manicure and black fingernail polish could rival any of the top models in Gojyo's field.

Hakkai gently pushed Gojyo aside and smiled. "I'm afraid those kinds of threats don't work on us," he said. "You see, I'm the intellectual type."

"Hey!" Gojyo protested. "What about me? I can be intellectual!"

"Of course you can," Hakkai murmured soothingly.

"Intellectuals are the most vulnerable to my soul-trembling threats!" Zakuro sneered. "Your tiny mind is nothing in comparison to my awesome ability to strike fear in the hearts of men! I can smite you with words alone!"

"Ah haha!" Hakkai smiled his politest fake-smile. "Of course. As you're so ably demonstrating at this moment."

"If you don't do as I say, all of your precious ones will die!"

"Your Highness."

They all turned. Doku stood in the doorway of the bathroom, a towel slung low around his hips, his hair wet and curling and drops of water clinging to his skin. "Should I throw this man out?"

Gojyo's mouth went dry again. He glanced at Zakuro and noticed that he wasn't the only one blown away by Doku's sheer male perfection. Zakuro's mouth hung open and his eyes were wide with dazed and amazed lust as Doku joined them.

A wave of jealousy rose in Gojyo's stomach. "Yeah, Doku. Throw him out."

"Halt!" Zakuro's outstretched finger became an open palm. His open appreciation took on a crafty air. "If you will not recompense my employer with material goods, we will settle the debt by securing the services of this man!"

Doku stood beside Gojyo, deadly intent radiating from him. "Please leave this house immediately."

"Only if you come with me!"

Gojyo shoved Doku out of the way and planted himself in front of Zakuro.

"Your Majesty!" Doku protested.

"I can take it from here, Doku," Gojyo said, not looking away from Zakuro. "Get out of here, you fucking asshole," he said to Zakuro. "You'll take him over my dead body!"

Zakuro threw his head back and laughed. "That can be arranged!"

"Yeah? You and whose army?"

"I shall wipe you from the face of the earth!"

"You can't even wipe your own ass, asshole!"

"The Great Zakuro has no need to wipe his ass! Enemies such as you wipe it for me!"

Gojyo slugged Zakuro hard enough to knock him into the wall. "You're right," Gojyo growled, stalking toward the stunned man. "I'm wiping your ass right now." He slammed his elbow into Zakuro's jaw.

Zakuro dropped like a rock and lay unmoving.

Gojyo grabbed his elbow. "Oh, shit. Did I kill him? And fucking OUCH! Crap, that hurts!"

Doku and Hakkai stared, wearing identical looks of shock. After a moment, Doku roused himself and knelt by Zakuro's side. "He's not dead, Your Majesty. Shall I kill him for you?"

"No! No, that's okay!" Gojyo grabbed Doku's shoulder and pulled him away from Zakuro. "Just dump him in the hallway or something and call security."

"Of course, Gojyo-sama. But I'll need you to let go of me."

"Oh. Yeah." Gojyo released him and watched as Doku lifted Zakuro from the floor. "And I thought we got rid of all of the 'sama' and 'your majesty' shit."

"My apologies... Gojyo," Doku said, although it was plain that he found using Gojyo's name to be difficult. "May I ask you to please open the door for me?"

"Uh, yeah, sure." Gojyo opened the door and Doku carried Zakuro into the hallway, leaving him on the floor near the elevator. Jealousy flared yet again as Gojyo watched Doku patting down Zakuro's limp body, removing the knuckledusters, a cellphone, a wallet and a fairly wicked-looking switchblade from the unconscious man. Doku used the cellphone to call the police, then dropped it on Zakuro and came back into the apartment.

Gojyo locked the door behind him and leaned against it while Doku began going through Zakuro's wallet.

"My, my. This is all becoming quite melodramatic," Hakkai observed in the silence. "Perhaps this is the moment to point out that I believe we've just antagonized a member of what is undoubtedly a _yakuza_ faction."

Gojyo winced. "Oh, hell."

"It appears you're correct, Cho-san." Doku held up a card. "This seems to be his business card. It says he's affiliated with the Takeda group."

"What idiot _yakuza_ carries a business card _saying_ he's _yakuza_?" Gojyo asked. "He's just begging for the cops to shut him away for life."

"I'm more concerned about the idiot who hired him," Hakkai said. "With leadership like that, we may face a real threat, if only due to what must be extremely poor judgment, not to mention a marked lack of a grasp on reality. I suggest that we ask your attorneys to investigate Mr. Zakuro's allegations that you're somehow responsible for Banri's debts while we come up with a plan of action."

Gojyo nodded, still rubbing his elbow. "We need security, too. I'm not too keen on having Drama Boy stopping by in the middle of the night."

Doku gently took Gojyo's arm and examined his elbow. Gojyo shivered at the touch of hands still warm and damp from the shower. "It isn't broken, though it will probably be sore for a few days. As far as what to do next, though, maybe you should consider my previous suggestion, Your- Gojyo."

"An _onsen_?" Gojyo re-imagined the possibilities of having Doku naked and wet – or, at least, moreso than he currently was. "I'm up for that."

"It might not be a bad idea to lay low for a bit," Hakkai admitted. "However, it may be better to find you a place in Tokyo, since it's not possible for me to leave the city at the moment. There's too much I need to do after the Banri fiasco, and it would be most efficient to be readily available to your attorneys and the financial institutions."

"I can escort His Maj- Gojyo."

Hakkai had his pleasant-but-obstinate look. "I'm not sure that would be wise. Perhaps you could assist me here, and Gojyo could go on his own."

Doku glanced at Gojyo. "I would feel safer knowing that Gojyo had someone to turn to in case his enemies track him to his location."

"Shut up, both of you," Gojyo said, yanking his arm away from Doku. "First, I'm not some pussy who needs to have other people around in case I get in trouble. Second, I'll do whatever the hell I want no matter what you jerks say. Third," he grinned, "I like the idea of going to an _onsen_ with Doku."

"Gojyo-"

"Hakkai, I mean it. I could use a break. The shoot schedule has been a bitch, and now with all of this Banri stuff– Well, it just sucks. It's not like I can do anything around here, anyway."

Hakkai glanced at Doku. "Perhaps Gakuji-san would like to take this opportunity to get dressed."

"I'll be happy to give you some privacy so you can have a conversation without me," Doku said calmly. "I'll be back as soon as I've dressed. Please call me if you need me, Gojyo."

"Okay." Doku had barely left the room before Gojyo said in a low voice, "I can take care of myself. Best friend or not, shove off."

"Would you act any differently if I suddenly – and irrationally – announced that I was going to run off with a mentally-ill man who thinks I'm a prince?"

"At least I wouldn't imply that you were some kind of fucking loser that was too stupid to have the right to screw up," Gojyo snapped back. "If I fuck up, I fuck up. Lay off me, Hakkai."

"Gojyo-"

"I mean it." Gojyo relented a bit. "I get it. You're worried about me. So now that I know, your part is finished. I'll do whatever the hell I want to do, and right now, going to an _onsen_ with a man who makes me nearly come every time he says my name sounds pretty damned good."

Hakkai looked upset, but resigned. "Call me if anything goes wrong."

"You'll be the first to know," Gojyo promised. "I'm going to pack some stuff for us. When Doku comes out, try to be civil, okay?"

"I'm always civil," Hakkai said.

Gojyo shot a glare at him. "Yeah. Right. Play nice." He went to his bedroom but left the door open, thinking he'd better keep an eye on the two of them, just in case.

He was glad he had a few minutes later, when he heard Doku leave the bathroom and go into the living room, and he heard a certain tone in Hakkai's voice as he greeted him. He dropped the shirt he'd been holding and slipped quietly to the door to watch.

The two men were eyeing each other warily, Doku now dressed in a tight black tshirt and wearing the modified black _hakama_ trousers that Gojyo had made all the rage in the clubs during the Asuma Apparel "Kyudo" campaign. Crap, Doku looked like sin in them. Gojyo itched to strip them off.

Doku looked relaxed and alert. Nothing like a crazy person should look, at least in Gojyo's opinion.

"How long have you known Prince Gojyo, Cho-san?"

Hakkai looked like an attorney about to argue for the death penalty. "Far longer than you, I imagine."

"I doubt it, since I was there shortly after his birth and don't recall you attending." Doku frowned. "You remind me of someone."

"Interesting. I can't say the same," Hakkai replied.

"Do you know a man named Gonou?"

"I've never had the pleasure, I'm afraid."

"That's interesting. Because you could be a double for him." Doku's body language shifted, and he suddenly seemed less harmless. "And since Gonou was the prince's best friend, yet the prince thinks you're someone else, I suspect there's sorcery involved."

Gojyo blinked. What the fuck? Sorcery?

Hakkai also seemed surprised, though he covered it well. "I'm afraid sorcery isn't really my thing. I'm more a high-tech kind of person."

If anything, Doku looked more grim. "You're youkai?"

Hakkai hesitated, and then smiled in a not-very-nice way. "Some might say I am."

"And others?"

"Would likely acknowledge my humanity, if pressed. By any chance are you youkai?"

Doku didn't respond.

Hakkai nodded as though he'd spoken. "You pass very well. I would have never known if you hadn't brought the subject up."

Doku's reply was smooth. "As do you. Youkai have to if we're to do business in this world. Humans fear us."

"Often they do," Hakkai agreed. "Do humans have a reason to fear you?"

"No. I would only act to defend His Majesty."

"Ah, yes, Prince Gojyo. Tell me, what is Gojyo prince of?"

Doku glared, anger and suspicion rolling off him in waves. "If you mean him harm--"

"I don't mean any harm to Gojyo," Hakkai said. "I'm trying to determine if you do, however."

This was getting heavy. But before Gojyo could stop it, Doku floored him with his response.

"I'm here to protect the prince, and to support him in any way I can. I'll be at his side, whatever choices he makes."

Gojyo couldn't breathe; he gripped the doorjamb so hard his knuckles ached.

Only one other person had ever believed in him like that. But he'd never come back after they'd taken him away, even though he'd promised to come and get Gojyo as soon as he could. Gojyo didn't think he was alive anymore, because being dead was the only thing that could have stopped him.

His brother never broke a promise.

And now here was Doku. Crazy or not, he believed in Gojyo. Just like Jien had. In a way, it almost felt like he had Jien back, except luckily they weren't related because Doku was sexy as hell.

"And you, Cho-san. What guarantee can you give me that you have His Majesty's best interests at heart?"

Hakkai didn't hesitate. "Gojyo is my friend."

The simple sentence made Gojyo feel embarrassed and pleased as hell, and it also seemed to work for Doku, who nodded, his expression thoughtful.

"Prince Gojyo will rule the youkai world when his father dies," he said, answering Hakkai's earlier question. "But it won't be easy. Many youkai refuse to accept him because of his human blood, even though he's lived in the youkai kingdom all of his life."

"So Gojyo's mother was human?"

Doku nodded. "He looks very much like her."

"If Gojyo were king, would the youkai ask him to declare war on humans?"

Doku's hesitation was apparent. "He wouldn't want to," he finally replied.

"But you think he would have to."

"I hope not."

"Hmm."

"He's always had a tender heart," Doku said. He looked both resigned and proud, which was a funny combination. "It used to get him in trouble when we were young."

"When you were young?"

"Before they broke us apart--" Doku stopped, a confused look on his face. "I mean, before his mother died," he corrected himself. "I often rescued His Majesty and Gonou-sama from people who would have taken advantage of the prince's generosity, or who would have put him in danger because he believed what they told him."

"Gojyo's not that naïve any longer," Hakkai said. He had the speculative look on his face that Gojyo knew meant that he had something that he was going to look into.

"No. He can't afford to be. But I hope he can replace what was once blind faith with compassion. If he does, I believe he'll be a strong ruler."

Hakkai studied Doku for a few seconds before saying, "If I allow you to leave with him and something happens, I'll make your life very unpleasant."

Doku returned the gaze calmly. "If something were to happen to him and I couldn't prevent it, my life wouldn't be worth living."

Gojyo softly closed the door and leaned his forehead against it. What a fucking mess. Doku was a majorly fucked-up dude.

It was crazy to trust him. Absolutely fucking insane.

But he was okay with insane. Hell, Hakkai was his best friend, and Hakkai was one of the scariest people he knew. Gojyo had trusted his gut when he’d met him, though, and he was going to trust his gut again with Doku.

Even if he hadn’t mentioned the almost-sex on the train...

...Maybe Doku hadn’t wanted to bring it up because Hakkai had been around the whole time he’d been with Gojyo in the apartment. That made sense. Gojyo’d just bring it up as soon as it was just the two of them, and then they’d let chemistry do its stuff.

Time to break things up, he decided. He grabbed the shirt he'd dropped, then went back and opened the door. "Hey, Doku, come here! I need you to tell me whether you want me to pack the red silk pullover or the oversized white button-down for you."

*****

Buying first class green-car tickets for the earliest non-specific Shinkansen train going to a non-specific _onsen_ town proved to be more problematic than it would have been if they'd known where they were going, and after the confused ticket counter person finally identified a possible train and issued them tickets, Gojyo and Doku had to run through the station to catch it. They slipped on just as the doors closed.

Gojyo was pleased to see there weren't many people in their car as he led them to their seats. Sprawling in the seat closest to the window, he stretched as Doku cast a wary eye on their fellow travelers before sitting in the aisle seat. Doku was acting a lot more relaxed without Hakkai around.

Gojyo grinned. "Safe at last. Shit. _Onsen_ , here we come!"

"It looks safe," Doku conceded. "Relax. I can keep an eye on things."

"Uh, I don't think you really have to, you know. Back at the apartment? Never happened before. My life's usually not that fucked up."

Doku smiled. "I know. It's usually worse."

Gojyo laughed. "Only every other week or so." He leaned his head into the headrest, looking at Doku. "Look, I just need you to know that I think you're fucking gorgeous and I'd love to sleep with you, but if you don't want to, I can book us separate rooms at the _onsen_."

"Gojyo-sama!" Doku looked shocked, his face flushing slightly, and he pulled back a little in his seat. "Your Highness, I'm not fit—"

"Stop calling me that!" Gojyo said, his heart sinking. He should have known Doku didn't feel the same way about him; the fantasy had been too good to be true. But their encounter on the train earlier in the day had led him to hope that Doku was as hot for him as he was for Doku. "It's okay," he said, looking away, though he was pretty sure he was crap at masking his disappointment. "I get it. I just thought--"

"Gojyo," Doku interrupted. He studied Gojyo's face, seeming to note his distress. "I would be honored to be taken to your bed," he finally said with a small, genuine smile. "I just didn't want to place you in a situation that you might later regret."

"I don't think that's a problem," Gojyo admitted.

"The king might feel differently, if he were to find out."

 _Fuck._ Gojyo's guilt kicked in. Hakkai had been right. He might really hurt Doku badly, with the guy being messed up like he was. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all.

Doku touched his cheek, distracting him from his thoughts. He smiled, and despite everything his common sense told him, Gojyo felt reassured. "We can cross that bridge if we come to it," he said. "Until then, I'm yours."

The guilt faded, to be replaced by a giddy happiness. "Yeah. Good. It's all good," Gojyo replied. He suspected his smile was more than a bit dopey, but Doku seemed to like it, since his smile grew.

Gojyo's phone suddenly trilled Hakkai's text ringtone. "Hang on." He pulled his phone out of his pocket.

 _pgojyo_ menzu rabu _lk for youkai_

"Cryptic bastard," Gojyo muttered. 'Look for youkai.' Did Hakkai mean he should play along with Doku's illness by pretending to see youkai or something, or was he just being a sarcastic jerk and making fun of Doku? He saved the message, figuring that he could try to decode Hakkai's twisted mind later, and turned off his phone. "Sorry about that," he said, stuffing it back in his pocket. "Just Hakkai being a smartass. I've turned the phone off."

"How long have you known Cho-san?"

Although Doku's expression was calm, there was something in his tone that made Gojyo think his inquiry wasn't as innocent as it appeared. "For the last four years. Why?"

Doku frowned and studied the back of the seat in front of him, looking a little unfocused. Then his calm air returned and he turned to Gojyo. His eyes held the intensity that made Gojyo's blood pool in his groin. "Is he your lover?"

"What? Me and Hakkai?" Gojyo shivered. "No, thanks."

"He's protective and possessive, and I saw several indications that he spends a considerable amount of time in your home."

"He's my best friend," Gojyo admitted. "But no, we're not together. Not like that."

"There were two razors on the sink. Two sets of toiletries in the shower. While you were searching for clothes, you opened every closet but one. The dresser has double drawers, and the two top drawers had different underwear..."

"What the hell! You looked in my skivvies drawer?" Gojyo interrupted. "Pervert!"

"I'm not a pervert. I was merely familiarizing myself with your surroundings so that I can best defend you," Doku replied, unperturbed.

"By looking to see if I wear boxers or briefs?"

"Actually, I was looking to see if Cho-san wore boxers or briefs. I already know what you wear."

Gojyo laughed. "And you said you weren't a pervert!"

Doku smiled, but didn't reply until Gojyo stopped laughing. "The two of you live together."

"Yeah, we do. And before you make a comment about the fact that there's only one bed, yeah, we both sleep in it. But we don't have sex in it, or anywhere else, for that matter." Gojyo was irritated to find himself blushing. "It's just easier with both of us there. Not so lonely."

"I've never lived with someone," Doku said.

"Never? Not even a girlfriend or boyfriend?"

Doku shook his head.

With everything that had been happening, Gojyo realized that he hadn't given any thought to where Doku came from. He'd just appeared and stayed. "Where do you live?"

"Chigasaki." Doku hesitated. "No, that's not it. I live at the palace."

"What do you do?"

Doku rubbed his head and frowned, not meeting Gojyo's eyes. "I'm your bodyguard. Can we talk about something else, Gojyo-sama?"

"Yeah. Sure." Gojyo sighed and looked out the window. "And I told you before, stop with the 'sama' shit, all right?"

"I'm sorry, Gojyo." Regret made Doku's voice soft.

"Don't worry about it. Do you mind if I smoke?"

Doku shook his head, so Gojyo lit up. They sat in silence for a bit, Gojyo gradually relaxing as he realized that Doku didn't act awkward or uncomfortable after their... what? Disagreement? They hadn't really disagreed. They just seemed to have hit each other's buttons.

An attendant came through the car with warm towelettes and newspapers, and later with drinks and snacks. Even with the air conditioning, the sun coming through the windows was warm. The half-empty car was quiet, the seats more than big enough for Gojyo to recline and stretch his legs. The movement of the train lulled him as they sped southward.

He was nearly asleep when Doku spoke.

"What do you remember of your mother?"

The question woke him up. Gojyo shifted in his seat, abandoning his comfortable slouch. "Why the hell do you want to know about that?"

"Sometimes knowing your past is the best way to face the future." Doku remained relaxed and non-confrontational. "We don't have to talk about it now, but someday soon, you might need to know about her in order to make a decision that could affect the rest of your life."

Gojyo wavered. There's no way Doku could really know about his mother. Maybe there was something in his pretend world that made him bring the subject up. Gojyo decided to trust his gut instinct and told the truth. "I never knew her."

Doku seemed to be considering his words. "I did, for a little while, at least. She was very beautiful. Your father loved her very much."

Gojyo's only memories were of his half-brother, whom he'd adored and still never thought of as anything but fully his brother, and his step-mother, whom he'd loved despite her drinking and abuse. He remembered that his half-brother had once told him that his real mother had been a European, from Ireland.

"She was all white skin and flaming red hair, with a laugh that made everyone around her laugh, too." Doku smiled. "She always hugged me and kissed me when she saw me, even though I wasn't her child. You look very much like her. She would have been very proud of you."

"Wait a second." Okay, that was weird. That's what Jien used to tell him. "How did you know her?"

"My father was assigned to protect her," Doku replied.

"Protect her? From what?"

"The youkai," Doku said slowly, as if Gojyo should know.

"Youkai?" Gojyo echoed.

"Your mother was human," Doku said, as if he were reminding Gojyo about it or something. "When you were born, your father brought you both to court and declared you his heir. Many youkai were angry that he had mated with a human, and even more were angry that their prince was a half-blood. There were quite a few attempts on your lives. My father died defending her, but an assassin slipped past him while he was still fighting and she was mortally wounded. She died, too."

He cursed under his breath and closed his eyes. It was Doku's fucked up youkai world again. It had to be coincidence that it sounded so much like what he'd heard about his real parents from Jien. Though it was unfair of him to feel pissed at Doku, given Doku's problems, it still hurt to hear someone talk about his mother and father like they were part of a fairytale when they'd really been alive once, and had really died together because someone was pissed at his dad for having an affair.

"Maybe we can talk about this later, huh?"

"Gojyo? Is something wrong?"

"Uh, nothing, Doku. No need to worry. I've just got a bitch of a headache. D'you mind if we don't talk for a while so that I can take a nap?"

"Of course. Would you like me to find you some painkillers?"

Gojyo shook his head. "No. I'll be fine with a little sleep."

"I hope you feel better soon," Doku said quietly. Gojyo felt him shifting, then an arm snaked around his shoulders and pulled him close. Gojyo resisted for a moment, then relaxed and allowed Doku to cradle his head against Doku's shoulder.

After all, the guy didn't mean any harm.

But that didn't mean he hadn't caused it. A part of Gojyo really wanted to be angry at him. Why should he have to play into some crazy guy's fantasies, especially when those fantasies had the power to scrape his defenses raw, leaving him to grieve for something that he'd never had in the first place?

But if he abandoned Doku, would that be any better? Why, after all that shit about knowing his mother, did he still feel like he should stick with Doku, and that he should trust him?

Doku's shoulder was solid and warm beneath Gojyo's cheek, the steady beat of his heart and the calm rhythm of his breaths soothing. He seemed so... safe. Couldn't he pretend just a little bit longer than the safety wasn't a figment of his imagination?

Warm and emotionally exhausted, Gojyo fell asleep and didn't wake up again until they reached Shimonoseki.

*****

Doku adjusted the _obi_ on his _yukata_ and examined himself in the mirror with a critical eye. Prince Gojyo was waiting for him, and he wanted to make sure that he fit in with the humans he'd seen. There had been no sign of any youkai since the train station, so he was hopeful that they would be the only ones in the area and he could relax his guard and focus on the prince.

When Prince Gojyo had asked where the most exclusive, secluded _ryokan_ in the area was, the taxi driver from the station had taken them to a small village on the edge of the sea and left them on the doorstep of one of the most upscale and beautiful _ryokan_ that Doku had ever seen. They'd booked a large en-suite room with a private open-air _onsen_ , which Doku looked forward to using. But Prince Gojyo had seemed to be restless. He'd simply glanced around the room, changed while Doku had washed up, and left a note to meet him in front of the _ryokan_ when he was ready.

The prince had been unusually quiet since their talk on the train, and it was plain that he was struggling with some kind of internal conflict.

Maybe a walk would do them both good.

Doku gave some thought to things he knew Gojyo enjoyed. He wanted to give Gojyo the opportunity to relax; in fact, with luck, he hoped Gojyo might forget that there was a difference between himself and the humans surrounding him.

Maybe Gojyo could even create some happy memories. He deserved them.

He made one more adjustment to the _obi_ and decided that it was as good as he was going to get it.

Prince Gojyo was smoking a cigarette when Doku came out of the building. He was dressed in skin-tight black jeans and an unbuttoned white silk shirt with the sleeves rolled back far enough to show his wiry forearms. The red-gold hair on his stomach trailed downward until it disappeared under the waistband of his jeans, an unapologetic invitation to sex.

Heat snaked through Doku's veins. He wanted to take Gojyo right there in the street.

Gojyo's eyes widened when he saw Doku. "You're wearing a _yukata_ and _geta_!"

"It's what a person wears in an _onsen_ town," Doku explained, amused. "Do you want to go back to the room and change?"

The prince recovered quickly and leered. "And look like an idiot? No way! Especially since I'm going to have to belt anyone who looks at you. You're a walking invitation to get down and dirty."

Arousal flared again; Doku had to fight to maintain his composure. Ever since the prince had told him that he wanted Doku to share his bed, all the pent-up desire for Gojyo he'd always kept carefully hidden threatened to explode. But one of them had to stay respectable, and Prince Gojyo certainly had never worried about social niceties, which just left Doku. He buried his anticipation just beneath the surface, content to let it build for the moment when he finally had the prince naked and writhing under him.

Besides, he enjoyed teasing Gojyo. He leaned closer. "I'm not wearing underwear," he whispered. "Want to join me?"

"You horny bastard," Gojyo breathed. His eyes darkened. "Fuck. All right. Just give me five minutes."

It was closer to ten before the prince emerged.

While the dark gray cotton of the _yukata_ with its intricate pattern of dragonflies looked good on Doku, on Prince Gojyo it looked regal, like formal robes. He truly looked as noble as his birth, tall and slim, his long red hair bound up in a high ponytail on the back of his head, a few wisps framing his face and emphasizing his exotic eyes. The simplicity of the _yukata_ exposed his complexity in a way modern clothing hadn't.

In it, Gojyo looked demon and human, Western and Eastern, mortal and immortal, profane and ethereal, and the beauty of him took Doku's breath away. It was all he could do to keep himself from either falling to one knee and vowing eternal loyalty, or throwing Gojyo over his shoulder, taking him to their room, and having sex with him until they were both exhausted.

"Your Majesty," he whispered. Prince Gojyo threw him an admonishing look, and Doku shook his head in apology before he smiled. "People are going to throw themselves at your feet."

Gojyo snorted. "Then we'll just step over them. How about we find a bar? I could use a few beers, and I wouldn't mind finding a game if there's one going."

"I've got a better idea," Doku said. "If you don't like it, we can find a bar. Trust me?"

"Yeah, okay." Gojyo looked pleased and a bit embarrassed.

"Are you hungry?"

Gojyo shook his head, but his stomach rumbled.

Doku grinned. "Follow me. I'm going to find you the spiciest curry in town."

Gojyo stared. "How did you know I love spicy foods?"

"You always have, ever since you were young." Doku started walking down the street and Gojyo followed. Doku slowed his pace until he caught up. "Do you remember Chin-san? Everything he cooked was swimming with hot peppers. You ate things I wouldn't have touched even if I was staked out naked on a glacier in a blizzard."

Gojyo stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, and Doku had to pull him out of the way of the other pedestrians.

"Wait," Gojyo said. He sounded almost frightened. "That was before I went to the orph-- uh, when I was just a kid. I've never told anyone about that guy. How did you know about him?"

"Because you made me eat whatever you ate so I could prove I wasn't – and I quote – 'a scaredy cat.'" Doku rolled his eyes. "You were a manipulative little squirt."

Gojyo went white. "How could you...?" he whispered. "It must be coincidence. It has to be."

A group of people tried to squeeze by them, so Doku pulled the prince closer to him and tried to figure out what was upsetting him this time. "We don't have to have curry if you don't want it."

"Maybe skip it for now," Gojyo replied, looking away, his skin still pale. He shrugged and tried to look cool by pulling out his cigarettes, but Doku could tell he was still unhappy.

"Gojyo?"

"Look, let's just go to a bar and eat there, okay?"

"Of course," Doku replied, hoping his smile looked genuine.

*****

After a couple of beers and some _yakitori_ , Gojyo seemed to be more relaxed. Doku thought about Gojyo's reactions that day, and realized that whenever he'd brought up the past, Gojyo had become tense and unhappy. He decided not to make any more references to Gojyo's childhood or parents, and hoped Gojyo might begin to enjoy himself.

Besides which, Gojyo seemed to be more interested in his own objectives. They were going to have a very active night once they got back to the _ryokan_ , if Gojyo’s constant innuendos and heated glances were any indication. Doku was enjoying the seduction game very much.

The bar wasn't busy and he and Gojyo were obviously tourists, so Doku wasn't surprised when the man behind the counter eventually made his way over to greet them.

He was an older man, gray and a little stooped, but he had a mischievous air to him. "Have you come for our fire festival?"

Gojyo shook his head. "Just the hot springs."

"Ah." He smiled. "Tonight's fireworks will be splendid from the _onsen_. They burst over the sea."

Gojyo perked up at 'fireworks'. Doku remembered how much he'd loved them as a child. "That sounds pretty good. What time?"

"After it gets dark and the dragons have battled." The man winked.

Gojyo laughed. "Is that what they're calling it now?"

The man leaned closer. "A walk through the market will make them shine brighter."

"Thanks, pops," Gojyo said, still grinning. "Any particular stall in the market we should see?"

"Now that you mention it," he said with exaggerated delight, "my daughter makes fine _takoyaki_. Third stall in the middle row."

Gojyo laughed again, while Doku shook his head and smiled. "Your beer might keep us from visiting her," Doku pointed out.

"There's time for one more," the man said, bowing and smiling. "It's very hot outside."

"You're on," Gojyo said.

*****

When Doku took off his 'I'm here to serve you, Prince Gojyo' hat and was just plain Doku, he was a hell of a lot of fun, and had a wicked sense of humor. If he could just keep Doku focused on what was going on around him so that he couldn't slide back into his pretend world, Gojyo knew that they were perfect together. Doku seemed to think so, too, if his heavy-lidded looks meant anything.

Gojyo grinned as Doku flirted with the bar guy's daughter and got a double order of _takoyaki_ for the trouble. Doku handed him a toothpick and they shared the fritters between them.

"Thanks for not getting the bonito flakes," Gojyo said.

"You never liked--" Doku stopped, then grinned. "They look creepy when they wriggle in the heat."

"I've always thought so, too." Gojyo speared another one.

"Mmm. I love these balls," Doku said, looking sidewise at Gojyo with a smirk on his face.

Gojyo snorted. "I was going to say that, but I didn't! I have class, you jerk." He tried to spear another fritter, but Doku held the container just out of reach. "Just for that and the balls joke, you get to suck me off first."

Doku nearly choked on a mouthful of _takoyaki_. "I can't believe you said that!" he coughed. "And for the record, people with class don't scratch their asses while they're wearing _yukata_." He handed the container to Gojyo.

Gojyo grinned. "I remembered in time." He ate the last ball.

"Barely. So. I wonder if your balls taste as good as mine?"

It was Gojyo's turn to choke. "Fuck you."

"Delighted to," said Doku. He sounded smug, the bastard.

They followed the crowd to the bridge and watched a couple of colorful dragons dance around each other. Hot as it was in the sun, Gojyo leaned into Doku's side, and was ecstatic when Doku pressed back. Man, sex with him was going to be so good.

On the way back to the _ryokan_ , they stopped by a convenience store to pick up some beer and a bottle or two of sake to drink while they soaked. While Doku roamed the snack aisle, Gojyo looked to see if there were any dirty magazines. He half-read the titles of the comics while he was at it – sometimes he'd found some good _hentai_ that way – when a title caught his eye.

 _Menzu Rabu._

For a second, he couldn't place why it seemed so familiar, then it hit him.

Hakkai's text.

Glancing over his shoulder to see Doku talking to a cashier and pointing to some food in the hot case, he picked up the comic and started paging through it. It looked pretty standard, a collection of different manga series, though he figured with a title like that, they were probably gay or something. Not sure what Hakkai had wanted him to find, he started scanning the stories.

"I got some _onigiri_ and a couple of croquettes for later."

Gojyo jumped and hid the _Menzu Rabu_ as best as he could as he turned to face Doku. "Sounds great," he said. "Are you going to feed 'em to me?"

"I'll feed you something," Doku promised, his voice husky.

Fuck. "Wait for me outside. I've got to get something." _Like a couple dozen condoms and a personal care item or two._ Gojyo wrapped his free hand around the back of Doku's neck and pulled him close. "Then we go straight back to the _ryokan_. I want to kiss you, and I don't want to stop with just that. I can't wait to fuck you." He saw an answering flare of desire in Doku's eyes and pushed him toward the door.

Once he'd made his purchases, he left the store and dragged Doku toward the _ryokan_ as fast as his damned _geta_ would let him go.

By the time they reached their room, the issue of _Menzu Rabu_ hidden in his shopping bag was the furthest thing possible from Gojyo's mind.

 

*****

Doku decided that bathing Gojyo was officially his favorite form of foreplay.

The headache that Doku had fought on and off all day faded away as he washed the dust and sweat off Gojyo's incredibly gorgeous body, their tongues tangling in kisses that held the promise of more heat later. For now, he was content to slowly bathe and kiss Gojyo, caressing every inch of golden skin, taking special care when he wiped the cloth over the delicate silken hair surrounding Gojyo's interested cock.

Their private open-air _onsen_ was perfect: a volcanic infinity pool surrounded by a beautiful garden located near the edge of a cliff that overlooked the sea. Doku could hear the crash of the waves below. The cedar decking that surrounded the _onsen_ was smooth, but not polished, so the splashes from their bathing spread into hazy blocks of red against the golden wood. Near the bedroom door, there was a raised platform with a low table and cushions, perfect for breakfast – or sex, Doku hoped. A stream, half-hidden by steam, tumbled out of the garden and ended in a waterfall that splashed into the _onsen_ pool, perfect to mask any sounds that they made. A few lanterns glowed in recessed niches. They'd provide enough light to see while still leaving pools of inviting shadows throughout the area later on.

Doku finished washing Gojyo's feet, and bent to place a soft kiss on each one, then began to kiss his way up Gojyo's body, avoiding his very aroused cock.

"You are so beautiful," he murmured against Gojyo's bicep, kissing it gently. "I've never known anyone as beautiful as you."

"Shut up and fuck me already." Gojyo sounded eager. "Damn. Your body just goes on forever, doesn't it? I can't wait to play with this."

He palmed Doku's cock, but Doku wasn't about to get excited too quickly. He had this night with Gojyo and no idea what the future would hold, so he was going to make the most of it. He nuzzled Gojyo's neck.

"Enough," Gojyo said, pushing him away. "It's my turn to wash you."

Doku smiled and waited as Gojyo filled a bucket with warm water. Doku handed him his towel to use as a washcloth.

Gojyo upended the bucket over Doku's head and then dragged him into the _onsen_.

"I don't think I'm clean," Doku sputtered, trying to wipe away the water dripping into his eyes. "Shit, this water is hot!"

"Clean is the last thing I want," Gojyo muttered before straddling him and attacking his lips.

The scalding _onsen_ made Gojyo's skin feel cool in comparison, and Doku groaned and thrust his hips against Gojyo's stomach, loving the relief it offered his sensitive cock from the too-hot water. He kissed Gojyo hard and deep, while Gojyo pressed closer into him and grabbed both of their cocks in one hand.

"Fuck," Doku gasped. "Gojyo--"

Gojyo made an affirmative noise and recaptured his mouth, squeezing their cocks together. He nipped Doku's lower lip and then rubbed his nose along Doku's jaw. "I can't wait. Fuck me, get the edge off, please? We can go slower after that."

"I bought condoms--" Doku gasped.

"Me, too. Here. I'll put it on for you."

Doku leaned back against the rocks and groaned as Gojyo stretched the condom over his cock. "Gojyo, I can't fuck you in the water. You'll go raw."

"Then sit on the edge of the pool." He licked Doku's ear. "I'll ride you."

Although Doku had never heard Gojyo's voice husky with sexual promise, it sounded so right to him that he could almost imagine that Gojyo had whispered sex talk in his ear before. He pushed himself up and out of the _onsen_ and sat on the edge of the deck, legs still in the water and his cock standing firm against his belly.

Gojyo's smile was predatory as he climbed out of the pool and stood over Doku, straddling him. Before he could sink down, Doku gripped his hips. He looked up at Gojyo.

"I want to suck you first," he said.

Gojyo's eyes darkened. "Oh yeah. Suck me." He buried his fingers in Doku's hair and pulled his face toward his cock.

Doku guided Gojyo's hips with his hands. Knowing that Gojyo was too on edge for licking and long, easy sucks, he opened his mouth and took as much as he could of Gojyo's first thrust. Gojyo's long cock hit the back of Doku's throat and he gagged, but didn't push Gojyo away. Gojyo groaned and gripped his head harder, then began moving in careful, shallow arcs, nudging the back of Doku's throat and sliding deeper each time as Doku relaxed and gained control of his reflexes. He let Gojyo fuck his mouth, contenting himself with running his tongue down the length of Gojyo's cock with each stroke and sucking hard to keep the tip from leaving his mouth. With every suck, he'd swirl his tongue to capture the drops of Gojyo's salty precome.

"Doku," Gojyo whispered. "I can't hold back any more."

In answer, Doku pulled Gojyo toward him, and relaxed his mouth and throat completely as Gojyo began fucking his mouth in earnest. It was only a matter of moments before he gasped and stiffened, pouring deep into Doku's throat as he curled over his head. Doku held him steady until Gojyo's knees stopped trembling, then swallowed and gently lowered him to his lap.

"Better now?"

Gojyo leaned his head into Doku's chest and wheezed out a laugh. "Sorry. I got a little rough there."

Doku kissed him. "You could never hurt me." He kept kissing him until Gojyo responded with moans and eager swipes of his tongue to chase the taste of himself in Doku's mouth.

"Hey, how about this?" Gojyo asked. He loosely grasped Doku's cock and gave it a few gentle pulls.

Doku stopped him. "It can wait. Should we soak for a bit?"

Gojyo laughed. "We get hot and sweaty having sex and then go into an _onsen_ to get even more hot and sweaty."

"It's a different kind of sweat." Doku slid off the deck still holding Gojyo, and managed to get them settled in the water again with a minimum of splashing.

"Fuck. What is it that makes an _onsen_ so fantastic?" Gojyo slid off Doku and settled in the water next to him. "It's just hot water." He leaned his head back on the edge and closed his eyes.

Doku had never seen someone so impossibly beautiful. Gojyo lay in the steaming water, his hands and feet relaxed and floating, his hair billowing around him like wet silk. His lashes were darker than his hair, mahogany to its blood, kitten-soft against the golden skin of his cheek. Doku wanted to lick them.

Instead, he adopted Gojyo's lax sprawl, too, half-floating by his side, his eyes closed. "They say it's the minerals."

"Minerals. They're good for you, yeah?"

"That's what they say."

"And they make _onsen_ _onsen_?"

"Guess so."

"I like minerals."

Doku smiled, too lazy to answer. His erection was still hard, but it wasn't hurting.

 _Maybe it's the minerals._

He snickered.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"No, what?"

"My dick."

"Yeah? What about it?"

"I'm still hard, but it doesn't hurt."

"Good."

"I think it's the minerals."

A heartbeat later, they both snickered. It rapidly devolved to a major splashing war and from there, Doku's cock ended up inside Gojyo's ass.

Gojyo was spread out flat on his stomach next to the pool, cursing. "Harder!"

"Oh, damn." Doku plastered himself the length of Gojyo's back, tangling his fingers with Gojyo's on either side of Gojyo's head. "Gojyo. So tight." He braced his knees and started rocking, barely pulling back with each stroke, his groin pressed against Gojyo's ass. Each lunge buried him as deep as he could go and felt so damned good, not just because of the sex, which was great, but because it was Gojyo, whom he'd loved all of his life, and right now, every inch of his body was in and around his most precious person, and they were both alive, and safe, and he loved Gojyo so goddamned much.

"I can't reach you," he panted into the back of Gojyo's head, face buried in red hair so he could nuzzle Gojyo's neck. He loved Gojyo's neck. He was developing an obsession with Gojyo's neck. "I want to touch you."

Gojyo stiffened and groaned beneath him. His ass muscles clutched Doku's cock, pulling a curse from Doku as he struggled not to come too soon.

A moment later, Gojyo started chuckling. "Uh, don't worry. Not a problem any more."

"You came?"

"Yeah. Keep going. It feels great to have you inside me."

Doku rolled to his side, pulling Gojyo with him. After they figured out where their legs should go, he slowed down the intensity of his thrusts, rocking more gently. He embraced Gojyo's chest and laid his head on Gojyo's shoulder, just moving his hips. Gojyo craned his head and they kissed, awkward, lazy and so very sweet, until Doku couldn't hold it any longer. He pushed deep and came, and it was all the sweeter because Gojyo kissed him through it.

They simply lay there for a while, watching the sun set over the sea. When the sun was no more than a sliver over the horizon, they slipped back into the _onsen_ to rinse themselves off.

"I'm going to fall asleep," Gojyo murmured.

"Fireworks," Doku reminded him.

Gojyo opened his eyes and smiled. "That's right. But it's too hot to sit in here the whole time they're going. I could use a beer, too."

A few minutes later, beers in hand, they pulled some cushions to the edge of the deck and got comfortable.

"Gojyo. Look. It's beautiful." Doku cradled Gojyo, who leaned back against Doku's chest and laid his head, warm and solid, against Doku's shoulder. Doku could feel the water trapped in Gojyo's long hair run in rivulets down his skin.

The moon was a few days past the full, a small, distant crescent above them. Though he could hear the waves at the bottom of the cliff, when he tried to look for them, Doku could sense more than see the sea, a moving black darker than the still black of the night sky above it. He looked straight up, and the stars were so deep above him that he shivered and felt like he would fall into them if he didn't look away.

"I always thought people talking about the magic of the night were full of shit," Gojyo said with a quiet laugh. "Guess I was wrong."

Doku made a noise in agreement and pulled the blanket closer around them, wanting to keep Gojyo from catching a chill. Between the _onsen_ and the sex, their bodies were warmer than even the hot August evening, and the last thing Doku wanted was for Gojyo to fall ill.

The first of the fireworks blossomed above them, the boom deep in their bones. It lit the sea as it fell, and colors kissed the waves in gold and red. The barrage had no rhythm, so after the first few, Doku stopped anticipating each explosion and just enjoyed. Gojyo was relaxed against him, smoking a cigarette and grunting when a burst particularly pleased him.

As their bodies dried, Doku pulled away the blanket until it was just him and Gojyo amid sea, sky and fire.

The show ended, but they didn't bother to move to the bedroom. The darkness was by no means absolute, so Doku could catch glimpses of Gojyo's face. He'd never seen Gojyo look so content.

Time passed. Their gentle touches turning to caresses, which in turn became kisses. They rearranged themselves so that each could take the other's cock into his mouth. Doku shivered as Gojyo mouthed around the base of his cock, then took him in deep. Gojyo came first, then Doku, then they kissed some more to taste themselves on each other's tongue. When Gojyo's head began to drop, Doku led him to the bed.

Doku waited until Gojyo's breaths turned regular and deep. He didn't want to upset him by bringing up the past.

"The first time I held you, you were barely two handfuls long, but you had a scream that could shatter windows," he whispered, smoothing Gojyo's hair from his eyes. "Your mother gave you to me to hold, even though I didn't want to, because, damn, you were noisy." He closed his eyes and remembered. "But then there you were, and I was totally responsible for keeping you safe. And that's when I knew. You were my responsibility, and I would never let you down. I'm yours, forever."

Gojyo shifted in his sleep, throwing an arm over Doku.

Doku pulled him close and kissed Gojyo's closed eyes. "You're amazing. Good night, my beloved."

*****

Gojyo woke up tangled around Doku and feeling more secure than he ever remembered feeling before.

Too bad he was desperate to take a piss.

It took quite a bit of careful maneuvering, but he was able to extract himself from Doku's embrace without waking him. Looking down at the sleeping man, he wondered if this was what it was like to feel love. Not 'in love', because he wasn't sure he could do that. But definitely more than lust. He wanted Doku to stay in his bed as long as he could convince him to stay.

Gojyo sighed and headed for the bathroom.

A few minutes later, showered, shaved and wearing a towel around his waist, he debated whether to bother Doku and try to climb back into bed, or whether to make some tea and wait for him to awaken. He went with the latter option.

Tea made and cigarette lit, it occurred to him that, with Doku asleep, maybe he could take a chance on looking at the _Menzu Rabu_ he'd picked up.

The thought to look through Doku's clothing to see if there was anything identifying him came a half-heartbeat later.

Looking through Doku’s things was wrong. Very, very wrong. But he was falling for Doku, so he wanted to help. Hell, even if he wasn’t falling in love with the guy, he still wanted to help. Doku was... well, Doku. Fucked up and amazing. And to help him, Gojyo needed more information.

Gojyo glanced at Doku and stubbed the half-smoked cigarette out.

The black t-shirt was a wash, but the hidden pockets of the _hakama_ trousers yielded a notebook, some money, and a piece of paper that he recognized. The phone number he'd given Doku on the train.

Which still begged the question: how had Doku arrived at the apartment without calling for directions?

He lit another cigarette and wandered to the open-air _onsen_ they'd used so very well last night. A smirk on his lips, he sat on the edge of the platform overlooking the sea and opened the notebook.

There wasn't much in it, just a lot of crossed out addresses – pages and pages of them. Finally, he reached a page with his address on it, the only one not crossed out in the whole book. He riffled through the rest of the notebook, but the pages were blank.

How the hell did Doku get his address?

He looked through the notebook again, but other than the addresses, there wasn't anything that told him who Doku was. He picked up the _Menzu Rabu_ and started skimming it.

Looking through the comic magazine was unexpectedly time-consuming: he kept getting caught up in the stories. It looked like the manga stories inside were all gay, and a few had pretty decent sex scenes that he wanted to read later. He dog-eared those pages.

He'd got several panels into a really sexy chapter before he realized that he was staring at someone who looked a hell of a lot like himself. He froze, his cigarette smoldering. Turning back to the beginning of the chapter, he started over.

Yeah, it was Prince Gojyo all right. And damn, the guy he was sleeping with looked a hell of a lot like Hakkai. He read straight through the story, mesmerized as the Hakkai-guy first had wild sex with the Gojyo-guy, then tried to stab the prince in his sleep.

 _I know that you've been upset by your recent betrayal..._

When he reached the end of the story, he started it again. The third time he read it, he finally thought to look at the name of the mangaka.

*****

"Pick up the damned phone, Hakkai!" Gojyo whispered as he kept an eye on the entrance to the _ryokan_. He was almost the only person on the street, too early for tourists to explore the _onsen_ or for businesses to open. Just a woman watering plants as an excuse for watching him, and another woman throwing water on the street in front of her store to settle the dust and staring at him, too. Gojyo wished with all of his heart that Hakkai wasn't all the fucking way away in Tokyo.

"Gojyo?"

"Hakkai. Oh shit! I've got to talk to you! I'm seriously freaked, here."

"What did he do to you?" Gojyo had only heard Hakkai's voice turn that icy on two occasions in his life, and the person he had been pissed at hadn't fared well in either situation.

"Nothing, it's been cool, Doku's been cool, but oh, fucking shit! He's playing out a story, all right. _A story my brother wrote!_ "

"You're right. We need to talk."

"Crap. I don't know whether to laugh like a maniac, or stab voodoo dolls of the teachers who taught me to read. Hakkai, my brother's alive!"

"There may be other men named 'Sha Jien' in Japan," Hakkai pointed out, but he didn't sound convinced of it.

"Another Sha Jien that writes about a Prince Gojyo? A Prince Gojyo that looks like me? What the hell are the odds on that? I figure it's about equal to having a royal flush for every hand for the rest of my life!"

"Gojyo. I need you to find a restaurant, sit down and wait for me."

"You're in Tokyo!"

"No, I'm in Shimonoseki. I should reach you within the next half-hour or so."

"Shit." Things was getting stranger by the second. "How do you know where I am? Does everyone have some kind of creepy 'find Gojyo' powers?"

"Of course not. Didn't you realize that your smartphone has a GPS locator on it?"

"You're tracking me down by GPS? Is that legal?"

"I won't bother to answer that. Just find a restaurant, order some tea, smoke as many cigarettes as you need in order to stay calm, and wait for me."

"What about Doku?"

"Do you really think you could face him at this point?"

Fuck. Of course he couldn't. "Hurry."

"Wait for me."

Hakkai hung up. Gojyo stared at his cell for a moment before hanging up, too.

Out of all of the crap he was dealing with, Gojyo figured there was really only one thing that was important right now.

Jien was alive.

*****

True to his word, a half-hour later Hakkai walked through the door of the small restaurant that Gojyo was hiding in. He looked as calm as he usually did, but Gojyo could sense that he was grim beneath the careful façade. He spotted Gojyo immediately and joined him.

Gojyo leaned forward. He'd gone through Doku's notebook again, and realized that some of the crossed-out addresses were places he'd lived in the past. Not all of them, but enough. "Doku is seriously fucked up. It's hard for me to get my head around, but I think he's been stalking me. What the hell do I do?"

"Let's order first. We can talk after that."

Gojyo fidgeted until tea was served. Hakkai poured for both of them, but Gojyo pushed his cup away. "First things first. I want to hire a detective to find Jien."

"About that." Hakkai took a deep breath. "Gojyo. I have something to tell you that may come as a shock."

"Oh shit." Gojyo closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose to try to ward off his headache. "Now what?"

"Doku _is_ Jien."

All Gojyo could hear was his heart pounding in his ears. He tried to understand what it was that Hakkai had just told him. He got the words okay, but he just couldn't figure out where the catch was. It couldn't be true. _Oh, fuck, please. Don't let it be true._

"He can't be," he finally whispered.

"One of the first things I found when I searched the internet for Prince Gojyo was a picture of your brother at a fan convention, signing autographs. I'm so sorry, Gojyo. There's no doubt in my mind that Doku and your brother are the same person. Though of course, we can hire someone to look into it if you want to be absolutely certain."

 _We slept together last night._ Gojyo didn't realize he'd said the words until he saw Hakkai's sympathetic look.

"I tried calling and texting you last night."

Gojyo groaned. "I turned the phone off on the train."

"I suspected as much. I caught the earliest train I could once I realized that you weren't getting my messages."

"Hakkai. What the hell do I do? I had sex with my brother!"

"I can't help you with that, I'm afraid. For what it's worth, I don't think it's as bad as it might seem. The attraction between you has been sexual from the first, from all that you've told me. You have something together. It's useless to feel guilt over the fact that you acted on it, just because of what you know now." Gojyo could feel Hakkai staring at him, but he couldn't meet his eyes. Not yet.

Hakkai waited a few moments before speaking again. "I think you may be forgetting something more important than the inadvertent incest." His voice was quiet and surprisingly gentle.

Gojyo barked out a laugh. He could hear the bitterness in it. "What the hell is more important than finding out you're sleeping with your brother?"

"A bigger question. Why did Jien tell you he was Doku?"

It was too much, way the hell too much to cope with all at once. Gojyo abruptly stood. "I'm taking a walk."

"Do you want me to come with you?"

He shook his head. "I need some space. This is so screwed."

"Would you like me to talk to Jien?"

It was so very tempting to take Hakkai up on his offer, but Gojyo finally shook his head. "I'll do it. I wouldn't mind having you around as back-up, though."

"What hotel are you staying at? I can let the desk know that you'll be out for a bit, and they can relay the message to Jien so he doesn't worry. You can call me when you're ready to talk."

"Fuck. Can I have a pen and some paper?" He scribbled a short note. "Here. Give this to the desk. We're at the _ryokan_ down the street. Thanks." He didn't bother to wait for Hakkai's reply, but bolted from the restaurant and toward the sea.

*****

Doku awoke to an empty bed and a headache that felt like it was ten times as bad as the one he'd had the day before. Wincing, he sat up.

He called for Gojyo, but it appeared that Gojyo wasn't in the room. There was a half-full cup of tea on the table, but it was cold. The cigarette in the ashtray was only half-smoked, too.

Concerned, he checked the _onsen_. Gojyo wasn't in the _onsen_ , either. He slipped into his _yukata_ and headed for the door.

 _Why would Gojyo leave the room so quickly that he had to leave his tea and his cigarette behind?_ He threw the door open.

"Mwuahahaha! At last, I have you!"

"Fuck," was all Doku could really say.

*****

Gojyo sat on the railing of the small bridge and stared into the water below him. Koi swam in the shallow stream, and made a brilliant, shifting collage as the sun caught them: white and red, yellow and orange, black and mottled, back and forth between sun and shadows as they slipped beneath the shelter of Gojyo's perch or ventured out in the hopes he'd throw them bread.

After he’d left Hakkai at the restaurant, he’d wandered through the streets for quite a while, trying to figure out what to do next. All of his thoughts only led to one conclusion, though. He knew what he had to do.

He just didn’t want to do it. Because a part of him, a really deep part of him, didn’t want to lose what he’d finally found, and the gambler in him realized the odds were against him.

He grunted when Hakkai leaned on the railing next to him.

"How are you doing?"

"I'm not as freaked any more."

"Are you going to jump?"

Gojyo snorted. "The bridge is only about a meter above the water, and the water's maybe a half-meter deep, if that."

"Good. I wasn't sure if you'd let me talk you down."

He'd ignored Hakkai's humor to focus on the issue he'd been obsessing about ever since Hakkai had first brought it up. "I don't think Jien's been deliberately lying to us. He really believes he's Doku."

"He seems rational within the construct he's created," Hakkai admitted. "And consistent. I think that would be difficult for him to do deliberately unless he were trained to do it."

Gojyo felt relieved. At least Hakkai had reached the same conclusion. It still didn't get them anywhere, though.

Hakkai continued after a moment. "Remember yesterday? He had blood on his head."

"That's right. I forgot." Gojyo swung his legs back over the railing. "Do you think it's part of why he thinks he's someone else?"

"It might be. I decided to check police records for the area around Shibuya Station, since that's where you said you'd got off the train. It was a long shot, but since he didn't mention having sex with you on the train, nor did he act like someone who had experienced that kind of intimacy with you, I started with the premise that he was Jien until some time after the two of you got off the train."

"Did you find anything?"

"Perhaps. There was a report of an accident at a construction site just outside the station. The man involved fit Jien's description, and there was a head injury involved, although medical personnel at the scene were satisfied that the victim was unharmed except for a bruise."

"He said someone had already looked at his head," Gojyo remembered. "Hakkai?"

"Yes?"

"That notebook I found. The one with my address in it."

"Yes?"

Gojyo looked down. His new boots were scuffed. "He's been looking for me all this time."

Hakkai remained silent.

"It's just that... I thought he was dead!" Gojyo shuddered. "All this time, and he never came for me like he promised. Jien never broke promises. So I thought he had to be dead."

"Gojyo."

"And the fucked up thing is," Gojyo gave a shaky laugh, "when he finally did find me, neither of us knew it."

"You couldn't help what happened," Hakkai said.

"No," Gojyo agreed. "Crap, Hakkai. I've been thinking about it. About the train, and Doku being crazy and talking about my mum, about last night, which I swear was the best sex I ever had. And you know what? I'd do it all again, even if this time I knew he was my brother."

"The only thing stopping you from being together is yourselves." Hakkai's voice was quiet. "You could be together, as long as both of you don't care what other people think. But if just one of you does, I don't think it could work."

Gojyo thought about that. "What would happen if we didn't tell him he was Jien?" he asked, only half-joking.

"He's going to find out, sooner or later."

"Yeah. I suppose even if we didn't tell him, I'd probably go crazy wondering if today would be the day he finally remembered. Fuck," he sighed. "If we can't get him to believe us, will you help me find a doctor to fix him?"

"Of course. Are you ready to go back to the _ryokan_?"

"One last cigarette. Then we can go."

Gojyo smoked in silence, trying to prepare himself to lose Doku. When the cigarette was nothing more than a glow at the end of his filter, he dropped it and crushed it out under his foot.

He turned to Hakkai. "I'm ready as I'll ever be."

Ready to lose Doku.

But Gojyo wasn't sure if he could survive maybe losing Jien, too.

*****

Doku looked at the knife in Zakuro's hand and judged whether or not he'd be able to get it away from him before Zakuro could stab him.

"Come with me," Zakuro demanded. "You shall be the bait to lure the foul Banri's lover to my superior, Kougaiji-sama!"

Doku shook his head, never taking his eyes from the knife. "I don't think so."

"I will prove to Kougaiji-sama that I am the greatest – no, the most splendid and crafty! – of all of his minions! And once you have acted your part as a lure, you shall be my bonus! Come with me now, or I shall _hypnotize_ you and make you come!"

"I don't think you can, you know."

"Look at me."

Doku automatically looked up into Zakuro's eyes and immediately tried to look away.

He couldn't.

"You, my incredible beauty, are under the Great Zakuro's awesome power!" Zakuro crowed. "You must do anything I tell you."

Doku struggled to tell him to go to hell, but he couldn't say the words.

"Ah ha! It worked!" Zakuro put the knife away and rubbed his hands together eagerly. "I knew it would someday! Put your finger on your nose."

Doku growled as he touched his nose.

"Bwahahaha! I am the most awesome power in the world! All shall bow before me!" Zakuro looked around the room. "Now, to write a ransom note, demanding your male model to bow before Kougaiji-sama's greatness and repay all of the money which was lost – with interest, of course – if he wants to see you again-- alive!" He pointed at Doku. "You! Stay there!" Then he started wandering around the room.

"This domicile is worthy enough even for the Great Zakuro," Doku heard him say. He didn't seem to be talking to Doku, though. "Large futon. Silken sheets. A personal tea service." He flung the door to the _onsen_ open and stepped outside. "Incredible! A private open-air _onsen_! What a magnificent view!"

A moment later he was dragging Doku to the _onsen_. "You are wearing a _yukata_ , which is most suitable for such a magnificent view! I must see you in all of your native splendor, my delicious one!"

Doku stared at Zakuro, furious. Who the fuck would have thought that he could be hypnotized so easily? He was a warrior, damn it! And now he was being ogled by a fucking _yakuza_ maniac.

The hypnotizing idiot placed him by the edge of the garden, positioning Doku until he met some inherently insane quality of aesthetics. It appeared that he liked his men to look like male bodybuilders. Doku struggled to throttle his captor when Zakuro tweaked one side of his _yukata_ to fall off his shoulder.

"Yes," Zakuro leered, stepping back. "You lend the perfect air of splendor to enhance my own fiendish beauty. I must explore the possibilities with you in more depth." He threw his hands into the air. "Ah, but as wonderful as this magnificent view is, I regret we must leave now if I am to bring you back to Kougaiji-sama." He walked backward a few steps, holding his hands up as if he was framing a picture with Doku in it. "I regret not bringing my trusty—"

The sentence ended with a gurgle as Zakuro fell into the _onsen_.

Zakuro bobbed to the surface and screamed. "Save me, I'm being cooked alive by a villainous volcanic cesspool!"

Helpless to resist, Doku plunged into the water and scooped Zakuro into his arms. Soaked to the skin, he fumed as Zakuro directed him to the bathroom for towels, all the while proclaiming the vengeance he would take on the damned _onsen_. As long as he didn't order Doku to piss in it, Doku figured that the _onsen_ would probably win any vengeance contest.

Besides, the _onsen_ can't be hypnotized like I apparently can, Doku thought bitterly.

Zakuro had Doku strip them both before toweling first Zakuro, then himself, off. Then, naked, Zakuro took Doku by the hand and started raiding Gojyo's closet. He spent a good half-hour trying on different outfits, finally settling on some really uncomfortable-looking black PVC jeans that Gojyo must have been distracted enough to pack – it was August! – and a long black silk scarf that he draped over his neck and allowed to fall unhindered to his knees. He grabbed a pair of Gojyo's boots and then stalked up and down in them, 'breaking them in', but obviously watching himself with delight in the mirrored wall of the bathroom.

Eventually, he realized that Doku was still naked, so he had him put on Gojyo's _yukata_ and some _tabi_ socks provided by the _ryokan_ , grabbed some stationery from the desk, and scribbled a note, which he left artistically arranged on Doku's pillow beside a spray of flowers that he'd ordered Doku to pick from the garden.

Then they made their escape.

Zakuro didn't bother to get green car tickets, so Doku was forced to sit in the middle of a crowded commuter car in his stolen _yukata_ , _tabi_ and _geta_. Zakuro sat next to him, prattling on about what he would have said to Gojyo if he had actually made it back to the _ryokan_ in time to have been captured as well, while other passengers tried to sit as far away from them as possible, given how full the train was.

"And then I would say, 'You are simple fools before my greatness!'. Or perhaps, 'I'll be back to defeat you!' No, no, that wouldn't be right, since I would be taking the foul Banri's lover with me. I suppose I could threaten that if he doesn't cooperate, they'll find you in Tokyo Bay! Although, that would be a waste. Wait. I know."

Zakuro stabbed a finger in the air and rose to stand in his seat. "Remember who you are, you cretins! You are simple fools before my greatness!"

 _Remember who you are..._

He turned to Doku and rubbed his hands together. "What do you think of that?"

But Doku was too busy remembering who he really was and being horrified by the things he'd done over the past twenty-four hours to give Zakuro an opinion.

*****

"Doku?" Gojyo looked around the empty room. The bathroom door was wide open, as was the door to the _onsen_. "Where the hell is he?"

"Is that the note that you left?" Hakkai asked, pointing at a slip of paper on one of the pillows on the futon.

Gojyo had a bad feeling. "I don't know. Check it and see. I'm going to take a look around, just in case he's in the bathroom or soaking."

Hakkai paused at the futon before he picked up the piece of paper. "There's a lot of water on the tatami. Do you think something's happened?"

"Maybe. Maybe it's nothing." But Gojyo's bad feeling grew.

The trail of water seemed to lead from the _onsen_ door into the bathroom, where Gojyo found a pile of sodden clothes. He ran to the _onsen_ , but it was empty, although there was a hell of a lot of water puddled on the deck around it and leading in a trail to the bedroom. Something was definitely wrong. Doku – Jien – wasn't the splashing type. He looked at the edge of the cliff and a chill ran down his spine.

"Gojyo." Gojyo turned as Hakkai came outside. "He's been kidnapped."

He didn't want to believe it. "Kidnapped?"

"By the man who came to your apartment yesterday." Hakkai read the note. "'Bwa-ha-ha-ha. So you were able to overcome me once. But don't think this is over. I shall throw you into the eternal darkness of fear with my own hands, for I have your most splendid and delicious bodyguard within my grasp. Arrive at 1-15-2 Soto-Kanda, Chiyoda-ku by 22:00 hours if you ever wish to see him again!' It's signed 'the Magnificent Zakuro'." He met Gojyo's gaze. "That's in Akihabara Electric Town."

"Oh, fuck, Hakkai." Gojyo tried to swallow down his terror. "Something's happened to my brother." He thought of the cliff again and felt sick. "Jien wouldn't have gone with that _yakuza_ guy voluntarily."

"Don't panic just yet." Hakkai took Gojyo's arm and led him inside. "I'm sure someone must have seen them."

"But he's _yakuza_ ," Gojyo said, following Hakkai blindly. "Nobody ever says they've seen _yakuza_."

Hakkai didn't reply. He just gripped Gojyo's arm more firmly.

Shit. Hakkai was scared, too.

They reached the front desk. "Have you seen the guy who was with me? Today?" Gojyo blurted. Fuck politeness.

The woman staffing the desk looked surprised. "Yes. Just about a half-hour or so ago."

"Did he say anything to you?"

She shook her head. "But I believe they might have left for lunch or tea. Your friend was still wearing his _yukata_. They wouldn't have gone far."

Gojyo nearly collapsed on Hakkai as his knees nearly gave out with relief. Jien was alive. He still didn't know how the _yakuza_ guy had made Jien go with him, but at least Jien wasn't lying at the bottom of the cliff.

"Thank you very much," Hakkai said, bowing. "You've been very helpful. Could you call us a taxi, please? We would like to be taken to the train station in Shimonoseki. We'll leave our things here for the moment, as we expect to return."

Gojyo had never been more thankful that he had Hakkai as a best friend. The guy thought of everything. He just hoped that Hakkai was better at getting train tickets than he was.

*****

Jien stared at the seat in front of him, numb with shock. He had no trouble ignoring Zakuro's rants.

He'd slept with his brother.

He'd called Gojyo, 'Prince Gojyo.' There wasn't a chance in hell that Gojyo didn't think he was crazy. Though he wasn't sure why Gojyo had stayed with him if he'd thought Jien was crazy. Maybe Gojyo was really fucked up, too. Though if he was, he hid it a hell of a lot better than Jien had. A fucking character from his own fucking manga.

He'd had sex with Gojyo.

After all these years, he'd found Gojyo.

He'd met Gojyo on a train even before he 'found' him. They'd nearly had sex. It had been really good almost-sex.

He'd found Gojyo.

He wanted to have more sex with Gojyo.

He'd found Gojyo.

And it was the worst possible thing that could ever have happened to him. He'd never thought that there could be something worse than all of the other times he'd thought life couldn't get any worse.

Like when he'd been twelve and royally fucked up by his mother, and had finally reported her attacks on Gojyo to the police, and then she'd committed suicide.

Then it had been learning that he and Gojyo would be separated, because the social workers thought he'd be 'mentally-compromised' in a relationship with his brother, sleeping with his mother like he had – which he obviously was, if the last twenty-four hours were any indication – while they had thought Gojyo would have problems with juvenile delinquency and truancy based on lack of trust issues. Which he had.

Then it had been the years of pleading to be allowed to see Gojyo, and the polite but firm refusals, because it would be detrimental to his own recovery and would re-awaken Gojyo's fear of being murdered by a family member.

But until this moment, the truly worst had been when he'd turned twenty and was finally legally an adult, and he'd shown up at the social services office to start formal adoption proceedings for Gojyo, only to find that somehow, Gojyo had been lost in the system. Shit, that had been bad. And the years of searching for Gojyo that had followed, as lead after lead turned out to be false – no, they weren't any good, either.

Yes, that had definitely been the worst. Until now.

He'd found Gojyo, who thought he was a crazy man named Doku, and he'd fucked him. Several times. And it had been the best sex of his life and he wanted to fuck Gojyo again. And again. And again. In fact, he wanted to spend the rest of his life fucking Gojyo.

"Ah ha! At last, we have arrived!" Zakuro leapt from his seat. "Come! We must go to Kougaiji-sama and tell him of my outstanding success!"

Jien followed, because it was all he could do. Funny, but he really wasn't at all afraid of being a hostage of the _yakuza_ anymore. They could do their worst to him, and it still wouldn't be as bad as fucking Gojyo was. In fact, if Jien ended up being killed, it would probably be a blessing.

Though if they did kill him, he was really glad he'd slept with Gojyo.

Which brought on another whole new wave of guilt.

The taxi ride was short, and it wasn't long after that when Zakuro presented Jien to a surprisingly young man sitting behind a massive desk.

Zakuro made the scarf flare. "Kougaiji-sama. I have returned!"

So that was the _yakuza_ head. Jien was surprised at how much he resembled Gojyo. The same red hair, the same slight frame, the same golden skin, even the same exotic eyes.

Kougaiji frowned and studied Jien in return. "Who is this man, Zakuro?"

"He is the lackey of the foul Banri's lover! We shall be able to use him as a hostage to recover all that was lost when Banri perpetuated his dastardly deed!" PVC creaked as Zakuro posed.

"I didn't assign you to that task," Kougaiji said. "I'd asked you to take my clothes to the dry cleaners."

"I am demonstrating initiative and drive!" Zakuro replied. "My awesome talents were being wasted on such menial chores."

Kougaiji looked skeptical. He turned to Jien. "What is your name?"

Jien couldn't open his mouth to save his life, which might be a literal truth under the circumstances. He glared at Zakuro.

"Ah ha! Kougaiji-sama! You are witness to my incredible powers of hypnotism! This gorgeous man is completely under my spell and subject to my will!" Zakuro preened.

"Release him."

"But, Kougaiji-sama--!"

"I won't repeat myself."

Zakuro snapped his fingers and then stood glaring at Jien with crossed arms.

Jien felt his muscles relax. "Is it over?"

"Yes," Zakuro pouted.

"Thank fuck." Jien turned to Kougaiji. "First, thanks for making him let me go. Second, if you hurt one hair on Gojyo's head, I'll kill you."

"Why don't we start with 'who's Gojyo?' and go from there," Kougaiji replied.

"Gojyo is my brother."

"And does he bear any responsibility for Banri's actions?"

"I'd say no, but not because I know for sure," Jien admitted. "It's because I know Gojyo. He's soft-hearted enough to let someone sponge off of him, but smart enough not to get involved."

"I'm afraid that testimony based solely on your belief won't suffice in a matter of debt responsibility," Kougaiji responded. "But I'll take your assessment of your brother's character into account once I know more."

That didn't sound good at all. "If you decide Gojyo's responsible, then I have one request," Jien finally said.

"What would that be?"

Jien looked directly at Kougaiji. "Punish me in place of him."

"That's very noble of you." Kougaiji's tone was polite, and more than a little dry. "By the way, why are you wearing a _yukata_? Did Zakuro pull you out of bed?"

"No, more like I pulled him out of an _onsen_ ," Jien muttered.

"I did not fall into the _onsen_!" Zakuro cried. "The foul heat of the earth lured me into its clutches."

"You were fantasizing that I was some kind of a pin-up model and fell in," Jien retorted.

"Only because I had forgotten to bring along my trusty digital picture-taking device!"

"It's a camera, Zakuro," Kougaiji said. He looked like he was getting a headache. "Besides, your cellphone takes photos, too."

"It does?" Zakuro blinked. A look of determination crossed his face. "Then before this god of musculature doffs his _yukata_ , I, the Great Zakuro, shall take pictures of him with my cellphone!"

"Please don't let him do that," Jien begged.

"He won't." Kougaiji turned to Zakuro. "Don't take pictures of him. They could be used as evidence."

Oh, shit. That _really_ didn't sound good.

"Yes, Kougaiji-sama." Zakuro looked like a whipped puppy.

"You said this man would be a hostage," Kougaiji continued. "Have you contacted his brother and set a meeting place?"

"I gave him this address, Kougaiji-sama! He shall walk straight into our clutches!"

Jien would have sworn he heard a quiet, "fuck," from Kougaiji, except that he seemed a hell of a lot more formal than that.

"Zakuro, before this situation deteriorates any further, I want you to tell the security shift captain to expect a visitor."

"Two visitors, Kougaiji-sama," Zakuro corrected. "Banri’s lover had another lackey who stayed behind in Tokyo. I was crafty enough to follow him from Tokyo to the secluded _onsen_ location at which they were hiding, and then to kidnap this masculine prize as bait. No one can escape the Great Zakuro!" He swirled the scarf for emphasis. "I'm sure they'll arrive together. My plan is ingenious. We shall leave no witnesses!"

"Then please let him know to expect two visitors," Kougaiji said. "You're dismissed."

Zakuro reached for Jien, who backed away. "I'm not going with him, am I?" he asked Kougaiji.

"Leave him here for now," Kougaiji told Zakuro. "I'd like to talk to him."

"But, but, Kougaiji-sama! He is my prized hostage!"

"You brought him to me, therefore, he's mine," Kougaiji said firmly. "Now go."

Jien watched as Zakuro slunk out of the room, shooting pleading glances at Kougaiji and heart-broken glances at Jien. When the door closed after him, Jien turned to Kougaiji.

"What are you planning to do?"

"Solve this problem with a minimum of bad publicity," Kougaiji said, his voice weary. "Please, sit down. Can I send for anything for you to eat or drink?"

Jien hesitated for a moment before sitting. "I'd really like a change of clothes, if it's possible."

"Of course." Kougaiji pressed a button on his huge speakerphone and ordered clothes, tea and _onigiri_. "I apologize for inconveniencing you," he said, turning back to Jien. "Unfortunately, I have a business to run, so I'll have to ask you to stay until we can get things straightened out."

Yeah, things weren't looking good at all. Jien shifted uncomfortably in his chair as Kougaiji examined him.

"You look very familiar to me."

"I don't think we've had the pleasure of meeting before," Jien replied, wary.

"I'm Takeda Kougaiji. May I ask your name? We were sidetracked from introductions earlier."

He'd find out one way or another. "Sha Jien."

Kougaiji frowned and looked at Jien. "Sha Jien? _Futatsu no Sekai_?"

Jien stared. "You know my manga?"

"I've heard of it," Kougaiji said. His expression grew tolerantly fond. "My sister is a fan. She's dragged me to several conventions. I apologize for not recognizing you earlier."

Half an hour later, Jien felt like he could really get to like Kougaiji, as long as he didn't end up hurting or killing Gojyo.

"I feel like the world's prize idiot for letting Zakuro hypnotize me," Jien said. He took another _onigiri_ from the platter. "The guy's an idiot. No offense meant."

"I hired him as a favor to one of my father's friends," Kougaiji replied. He looked amused. "He's her nephew. She can't be trusted, so it seemed wiser to have some leverage, just in case. And I wouldn't worry about being hypnotized. It's said that those with strong imaginations are most susceptible. Personally, I'd prefer you to be vulnerable to hypnotism than to have you abandon your work."

"Have you read it?" Jien asked, surprised. "I thought your sister was the fan."

"She introduced me to it." Kougaiji looked embarrassed, but sincere. "I enjoy the complexity of the characters, and the ethical choices that you have them face. It's refreshing to read about people who value honor."

"Thanks." Jien chuckled and shook his head. "At those conventions, it's always, 'oh, Prince Gojyo is so cute!' and 'I love dark, angsty characters like Gonou'."

"I find I respond best to characters like Doku--"

Kougaiji's intercom buzzed and he answered it. "Yes?"

"They're here, sir." In the background, Jien could hear, 'Fuhahahaha! You fools will pay for the hubris of attacking the Great Zakuro!' and a sharp rejoinder from Gojyo.

Kougaiji pressed the button again. "Bring them to the office."

It suddenly hit Jien: Gojyo. He didn't know they were brothers. How the hell was he going to handle seeing him again, especially in front of a _yakuza_ boss?

Before he could come up with an idea, the door opened and Gojyo and Hakkai walked into the room, half a dozen men built like bouncers following them. Zakuro brought up the rear.

"Mmwuahahaha! You pathetic insects! Tremble before the mighty Kougaiji-sama!"

"I thought it was only a one-man super villain show," Gojyo muttered, before Hakkai elbowed him in the ribs. That's when Gojyo looked up and saw Jien.

"Oh, thank fuck!" He grabbed Jien and pulled him into a hug. "I thought that idiot accidentally killed you while he was flailing around or something!"

Jien hugged him back. "Talk about idiocy. You shouldn't have come." He lowered his voice. "Gojyo, I'm about to say something that will shock you. Please go with it. I promise I'll talk to you about it later." He let Gojyo go, stepped back, and before he could lose his nerve, said, "Takeda-san, this is my brother, Sha Gojyo, and his friend, Cho Hakkai. Gojyo, Cho-san, please meet Takeda Kougaiji."

He waited for Gojyo's expression to crumble into anger and betrayal, but nothing happened.

"It is a pleasure to meet you, Takeda-san," Hakkai said, bowing.

Gojyo glared at Kougaiji. "Did you do anything to him before we got here?" Gojyo demanded. He spun to face Jien. "Did he hit you over the head or something?"

"No," Jien said quickly – and where did Gojyo get the whole 'hit on the head' thing? "I'm fine, really. Are you sure you're okay, though?" Gojyo really wasn't reacting the way Jien thought he should.

They were upstaged.

"This is the lover of the thief, Banri!" Zakuro gestured at Gojyo. "The other one is his henchman. I have brought them here to repay the money stolen by their comrade."

"Thank you all for coming," Kougaiji said. "Please have a seat."

Gojyo sat next to Jien, Hakkai on his other side.

"But Kougaiji-sama! We should imprison them in chains and stake them to the floor! They are closely associated with a man who has betrayed us and stolen Takeda properties!"

"I don't think we've reached that stage, yet, Zakuro."

"And I hope we never do," Jien murmured. "Play it cool, Gojyo. He seems pretty decent, but I have the feeling he could be pretty ruthless if he has to be."

Gojyo nodded.

"I've requested your presence because it's been brought to my attention that you are associates of a man named Banri. I'm currently investigating a recent theft, and have reason to believe he's involved. Are any of you in a legalized personal or business relationship with Banri that would make you liable for his actions or debts?" Kougaiji asked.

"Hell, no." Gojyo said. "That asshole would steal his own mother's g-strin—"

Jien grabbed Gojyo. "Shut up!"

"Ah haha." Hakkai rubbed the back of his head. "What Gojyo means, Takeda-san, is that Banri was a childhood friend, but one that has never been trustworthy enough to enter any formal relationship with."

"Do you have any idea where he is now?"

Hakkai shook his head.

"Try the Lex," Gojyo said. "He stole my key to the back door."

Kougaiji glanced at two men, who hurried off. "Thank you for your help, Sha-san. If you have any other information, I would appreciate it if you'd share it with me."

Gojyo sighed. "Banri's an asshole, but he's still a friend. The Lex is all I'll give you."

The tension in the room ratcheted a couple of degrees, though Kougaiji didn't appear upset by Gojyo's statement.

Jien was filled with pride for Gojyo's loyalty. He just hoped it wouldn't get them killed.

"Takeda-san, I can vouch for Gojyo," Hakkai said. "Banri stole from him, as well. We have reported the theft to the police and are cooperating with them fully."

"Kougaiji-sama! They must be punished for their insolence!"

Kougaiji's expression didn't change, but Jien had the feeling that he flinched, anyway. "Zakuro. Take Taka and make sure that the perimeter is secure."

Zakuro looked like he was going to protest, but at a glance from Kougaiji, he said nothing and left the room with another of Kougaiji's men.

"I would make a proposal," Kougaiji said. He looked at Jien. "Sha-san, if you will enter into a formal relationship with my group, you could pledge on your honor not to abet the man known as Banri should we find him, or should you become aware of his whereabouts."

"A formal relationship?" Damn. Did that mean he'd have to share his portion of his already small royalty with the _yakuza_? "What would it entail?"

"Don't do it!" Gojyo said in a low voice. "Listen, some of the kids from the orphanage ended up with the _yakuza_. It's trouble! Once you get pulled in, you can't get away. Let 'em beat us up and be done with it."

Jien shook his head. "Let's hear the terms before we start inviting anyone to beat us up, okay?"

Hakkai smiled, looking pleasantly insane. "Please don't take this wrong, Kougaiji-san, but I would caution Gojyo’s brother as well."

"As friends should," Kougaiji said. "I take no offense. Sha-san, the terms are simple. We enact a _sakazuki wo kawasu_ – a pledge with sake – to establish our relationship. If we use the _katame no sakazuki ka tame no sakazuki_ version, it simply means that we keep each other strong in times of trouble.

"'Our cups face the same adversities'." Jien studied Kougaiji's face, but couldn't find any trace of deceit. His gut told him it was okay; in fact, under different circumstances, Jien suspected that he might have become very good friends with Kougaiji, _yakuza_ or not. "I don't have much to offer, Kougaiji-san. I'm never going to be rich as a mangaka, and I refuse to pledge any of Gojyo's assets or future business dealings in exchange for a promise that I make."

"All we ask is that if the whereabouts of Banri becomes known to you, that you will in turn make it known to us."

"Just me? I'm not pledging for Gojyo or Hakkai or anyone else?"

"Just you." Kougaiji's gaze was steady. "The relationship is between the two of us, and by extension on my part, my associates. But your friends, family and associates are exempt."

Jien nodded. "Okay. I'll do it."

"Well, that was a bit anti-climatic," Hakkai said, blinking. "Do I understand it right? He promises to tell you if he finds out where Banri is, but other than that, there are no further obligations?"

"That's correct."

"Not what I expected when we were brought here," Hakkai admitted.

"Not that any of us are complaining," Gojyo said quickly. "Look, it's up to you, Jien."

Jien felt his heart pound. Gojyo had called him by his name. He really knew Jien was his brother, it wasn't that he hadn't heard what Jien had said earlier or had been in denial. Jien wasn't sure why Gojyo was handling it so well, but he wasn't going to question it, he would just savor how fucking happy he was.

And get them out of this mess. "What do I need to do?" Jien asked.

Kougaiji led them to a traditional room decorated in a formal manner, and gestured for Jien to sit at a low table, Gojyo and Hakkai behind him. A man brought in an exquisite antique sake set, with cups so flat and delicate that Jien was afraid to even breathe on the paper-thin porcelain, much less drink from it. The man poured sake into two cups, and Kougaiji gave one to Jien.

" _Katame no sakazuki ka tame no sakazuki_ ," Kougaiji said, raising his cup.

Jien echoed him, holding his cup as gently as he could. " _Katame no sakazuki ka tame no sakazuki_."

They each sipped. The sake was light and sweet as air on Jien's tongue.

Kougaiji put down his cup. "You are free to leave."

Jien bowed. "Uh, thanks. I hope it isn't rude to ask, but this sake is damned good stuff. Where can I get some?"

Kougaiji regarded him thoughtfully. "I'll tell you in exchange for an autographed copy of the first volume of _Futatsu no Sekai_."

"It's a deal. Hell, I'll give you a whole set while I'm at it. Maybe an original galley or two, too." Jien was already planning Prince Gojyo's alliance with a band of robber-demons and their king. "Do you think we should have another cup to cement the deal?"

Kougaiji smiled and poured.

 _Maybe things will make more sense after a little sake,_ Jien thought. He smiled and raised his cup.

*****

After Kougaiji's men dropped them back off at Gojyo's apartment, Jien was at a loss. The headache he'd had since the accident throbbed behind his eyes.

He didn't have a single fucking clue what to do now. "Gojyo. There's something I need to talk to you about." He couldn't meet Gojyo's eyes.

"I think I know already." Gojyo seemed to be equally awkward, but there was an air of suppressed happiness underneath. "You're really Jien, not Doku."

Jien nodded, ashamed. Gojyo still didn't seem upset. Maybe the situation was so shocking for him that he hadn't had time to think about all of the ramifications that came with having Jien's real identity revealed. Not that it would take him long, since Gojyo had always been a smart kid.

"I'm sorry you had to find out the way you did," Jien said. "I just couldn't think of a way to tell you in front of a bunch of _yakuza_. I know it's a shock. I'm not really crazy, either, though I understand if you don't believe that."

"I already knew." Gojyo hesitated, then surprised Jien by pulling him into a strong embrace. "Jien," he whispered. "I've missed you."

"I've missed you too, Gojyo," Jien said, hugging him back. His eyes and nose stung with unshed tears. "I'm sorry it took me so long to find you."

"I saw the notebook. I know how hard you were looking. You nearly found me a couple of times, too."

The forgiveness inherent in Gojyo's words broke him. "Fuck. Gojyo." He knew Gojyo knew he was crying, but it didn't matter.

They clung to one another until Hakkai cleared his throat.

"You've both had a shock," he said. "I'll make tea."

Gojyo finally let Jien go. "Thanks, Hakkai." He smiled at Jien the way he had since he'd been a boy, happy and shy all at the same time, like he couldn't believe someone would pay attention to him. Jien had hoped he'd lose that smile over the years. Gojyo should never have to wonder if anyone loved him.

"Hey," Gojyo said. "You're staying, aren't you? There's plenty of room here."

"Thanks, but I don't think three men will fit in your bed," Jien replied.

The joke fell flat, and Jien avoided Gojyo’s eyes.

"Uh, that’s okay,” Gojyo said, though the disappointment in his voice was plain. “I’ll just come and visit you, then."

"I don’t think that would be a good idea."

Gojyo's smile disappeared and he looked incredulous. "So you want to run out on me again?"

Jien opened his mouth to detail the long list of reasons why it would be best if he left when Hakkai entered the room with a tea tray. He closed his mouth without saying anything.

"I have to get in touch with Gojyo's attorneys and financial people," Hakkai said. "I'll also contact the _ryokan_ and arrange for them to send back your belongings, Gojyo. If you'll excuse me."

Gojyo watched him retreat to the office. "He wants to give us some space to talk, you know."

Jien nodded. "He's a good friend, Gojyo."

"Yeah." Gojyo rubbed the back of his head, looking at the tea. "Can I get you a beer?"

"Uh," Jien hesitated. "Yeah. Sure. That would be great."

Beers in hand, they sat on the sectional sofa, Jien careful to leave an appropriate amount of space between them.

"This is a total fuck-up, isn't it?" Gojyo asked.

"Yeah." Jien took a sip of his beer and then abruptly set his can down on the table. "Gojyo. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to deceive you--"

"I know, no worries." Gojyo's mouth twitched in an almost-smile. "It was weird, but even when you were Doku, I trusted you."

"I can't honestly see how," Jien said. He scrubbed his face. "I was acting like a character in a manga. A fantasy manga at that. Talk about crazy."

"But you were still you." Gojyo set his beer down and faced Jien. "I don't regret anything," he said, his voice defiant.

"I... do," Jien looked away from the pain in Gojyo's eyes. "We're brothers. We can't be together like that." He swallowed hard. "I think... I think if I'm around you, I won’t be able to control myself. But it's wrong."

"I think I can decide what you can and can't do to me." Gojyo lunged at Jien and they fell backward onto the couch, Gojyo on top. "Do you feel that?" he said, rubbing his groin against Jien's. "I don't have a single fucking problem being your lover." He bit Jien's chin.

Jien groaned and bucked up into Gojyo's heat. "Gojyo--" He grabbed Gojyo's head, burying his hand in his hair, and then they were kissing, Gojyo aggressive and dominant, and it was so damned hot that Jien knew he wasn't going to last long.

Jien opened to Gojyo and pulled him closer. He pushed his hips up, and within moments they were rutting together, pushing against each other's hardness and kissing with a fierce passion that shook Jien to the core. He thrust up harder and groaned into Gojyo's mouth as he came in his trousers.

A minute later, Gojyo followed.

They lay tangled together, both trying to catch their breath.

Gojyo buried his face in the curve of Jien's neck and started shaking. Jien pulled him closer, already feeling guilty, but wanting to be there for Gojyo if he needed him. "Hey, it's okay. What's wrong?"

"Ha ha ha!" Gojyo burst out, laughing so hard there were tears in his eyes. "We just rubbed off on each other with Hakkai in the next room!"

"You little bastard!" Jien pushed Gojyo to the floor. "This is exactly what I mean! I can't control myself around you!"

"Hey, baby, in case you didn't notice, there were two of us involved here." All the laughter was gone, and Gojyo matched Jien glare for glare.

"I’m the one who’s supposed to be responsible," Jien said, disgusted with himself. "No matter what I do, though, I screw it up, and I hate myself for it. I'm too weak to refuse you, but if I leave, I’m abandoning you again!"

"You think it's weak for two men to love each other?"

"I just dry-humped you, Gojyo! I just came in my pants! After I said I wouldn't do this any more. If that's not weakness, I don't know what the hell it is!"

"It's sex, you idiot!"

"With my little brother! Don't you get it? I'm supposed to watch out for you! I'm supposed to save your ass from people like me! And Gojyo, what the hell would we do if it all goes wrong? Stop being brothers? I don't--, I can't-- Fuck. Let’s just take a break for a while. Give us both time to get over this." Jien pushed past Gojyo and headed toward the door, but Gojyo grabbed his arm.

"We're not kids anymore, Jien! We're men! Men who met and made a connection with someone really amazing and special. I know you've got to freak out, 'cause I had to, too, at first. But I figured it out. So now it's your turn to figure it out, too. Freak, but just do it and get it fucking _over with_ already so we can be together!"

"I can't! I don't want to do to you what mom did to me!" Jien collapsed into a chair and bent over, covering his head with his arms. "Just. Fuck. Just ignore that, okay? Gojyo, trust me on this. Families fucking each other are very, very bad." He refused to look at Gojyo.

"Don't go."

Something in Gojyo's voice broke Jien. He could feel tears stinging in his eyes. "Don't, Gojyo. Don't do this."

"I knew what you had to do to protect me," Gojyo said, his voice hoarse. "It isn't the same thing."

"But it could be." Jien finally met Gojyo's eyes, and couldn't keep the tears from falling. "I hated her, Gojyo. I hated her so much. And I don't want you to hate me like that, because you're everything to me and I don't think I could take it if you hated me."

"It isn't like that. I promise. Nobody's being coerced. It's all about love, not sickness like it was with her. Jien, listen to me. You're not her."

"Fuck." Jien was crying openly now. "I can't do this, Gojyo."

Gojyo stood silent for a moment, then reached out his hand. "Come on, it's been a long couple of days." Jien let Gojyo help him to his feet. He wiped his eyes, willing the tears away. Gojyo spoke in soothing tones. "Take the bed. Just- just sleep for a while, okay? We can talk later."

The thing was, even though Gojyo had said they'd talk, Jien knew neither of them had anything new to say. It would be the same arguments, over and over. "No. I'm just going to hit the bathroom, clean myself up some, then I'll take off."

When he came back out a few minutes later, Gojyo was standing where he'd left him.

"Thanks for loaning me the clothes," Jien said.

Gojyo just stared at him.

"I'm going," Jien said. "Here’s my phone number in case of an emergency."

"You don't have to go."

It was time to leave. "Gojyo--"

"Jien, look, even if we can't be lovers, you said you'd never leave me again. You promised."

"You said it before. We're not boys anymore, Gojyo," Jien said, finally giving in to his impulse. He cupped his hand around Gojyo's head and pulled him into a hug. Gojyo's hair was so soft. Jien could feel wet heat soak into his shoulder, and pressed his cheek against the top of Gojyo's head. "I'll still be around."

"You won't be with me, though." Gojyo's tears seemed to have stopped, though his eyes were red as he pulled back from Jien's embrace. "Shit. Sorry." He rubbed his arm across his eyes. "I haven't fucking cried in years."

"Promise me you'll take care of yourself."

Gojyo stepped back further. "I’m not going to make a promise I can't keep. I’m not okay with this, and I’m not going to pretend to be just to make you feel better."

"It's not forever," Jien protested. "Just until we can control ourselves around each other."

Gojyo's expression was full of pity. "You're the only one who with a problem. I couldn't give a fuck if one of us could get pregnant and we had mutant babies. I love you, you bastard. All of you. Even the bits of you that you've decided I can't have."

"You'll find someone else."

Gojyo shook his head. "You don't get it. You're breaking something that shouldn't be broken." He turned and walked away.

Jien didn't run after him. He just watched until Gojyo had closed the door to the bedroom, then he left the apartment, closing the front door softly behind him.

He heard the auto-lock snap into place.

*****

 _Page eight, conclusion. A series of frames, showing the four seasons and the five elements. Dialogue: G: "Life doesn't just happen, Doku. There's an art to living. You have to shape it, chip away at it, throw big splashes of color at it and hope some sticks. It's not being youkai, or being human, or being any combination of both. It's not being royalty or commoners or soldiers. It's just you, and what you do to make life come alive. And if you're lucky, you might just find somebody else who lives it just as hard, right alongside you. Living is little. Even ants can do it. But life is big. Really big. And scary. And absolutely brilliant. It's meeting a person on a train and knowing that person will be a part of your life forever more..."_

Fuck. It was way too long to fit on a page. Hell, Gojyo was spouting enough shit to fill ten pages.

Jien dropped his pen and closed his eyes. He really needed to focus.

"I'm in love with Gojyo."

He hadn't meant to say anything out loud, so hearing the words nearly turned Jien's stomach. Part of him was terrified by his feelings for Gojyo, but most of him was angry: at his long-dead mother, at himself, at Gojyo, at Hakkai, at the damned detective who'd tracked Gojyo down and given Jien his address, at the asshole who had dropped his fucking _bento_ box.

He never should have looked for his brother. They'd had lives. They would have survived without ever finding each other.

Probably.

Well, at least better than they were surviving now.

Jien felt emptier now that he'd found Gojyo than he'd ever felt when he was searching for Gojyo and feared he was dead. Now he knew just exactly what he'd never be able to have, and wanting it like he did ate at him every moment he was awake, and was leaking into his dreams, as well.

He looked at what he'd just written and tore the page off the drawing table, crumpling it in his fist. "Lies. All of it. And besides, it's totally out of character." He dropped the balled up paper on the floor and laid his head on the table. "Life's not brilliant. It just sets you up and kicks your ass."

"Well, that's a particularly pessimistic view, I have to say."

Jien didn't bother to raise his head or wonder how Hakkai got into his apartment. At some point he'd realized that Hakkai just seemed to have a way of doing whatever the hell he wanted to do or going wherever the hell he wanted to go. "Go away. You don't have to worry. I won't screw up his career or anything."

"But you've managed to make quite a mess of his life."

"I think my life's pretty much a wash right now, too. He'll get over it."

"I beg to differ."

Jien raised his head and glared. "Hakkai. I'm in love with my brother. And how the hell did you get into my apartment?"

Hakkai regarded him, his expression neutral. "I think you need to concentrate on what's important right now."

"And what's that?"

"You wrote that manga hoping that Gojyo would see it, didn't you?"

Jien glared at the floor. "I wasn't having any luck finding him the other way."

"Apart from the coincidence of similarities between the Gonou character and myself, it seems quite plain to me that you and Gojyo were the main characters all along. Whether you did it consciously or not, you wrote yourself into the story as Doku. And once you acknowledge that, it's obvious that your feelings for Gojyo as expressed through Doku were hardly the feelings of a brother."

"It's a men's love publication. I only wrote it like that because it's expected in those kinds of stories."

"By that logic, if you'd decided to write for a straight audience, you believe Gojyo would never connect a story about Prince Gojyo and female companion, written by a mangaka named Sha Jien, with you, would he?"

Jien frowned. "So I didn't think of that."

"I think you did," Hakkai said quietly. "Gojyo's told me some things about your childhood. It sounds like the two of you only had each other. Adult relationships are naturally shaped by the relationships that you have as a child. It seems natural to me, then, that you would develop adult feelings for the only person you've ever loved."

Jien gave up. "Everything you've said about me is true, yeah. I'm screwed," he said. "But this isn't about me. Gojyo has other people in his life. He can learn to love from all of you. He doesn't need me teaching him the wrong kind of love."

"A person has to want to learn, first," Hakkai replied. "Gojyo doesn't want to learn from anyone but you."

"How can anyone accept a sexual relationship between brothers?" Jien cried. He bit his lip to try to stop another crying jag. He was damned if he'd cry in front of Gojyo's best friend.

Hakkai regarded him silently. "Be thankful that Gojyo is your brother, not your sister," he finally said. "It would be quite awkward falling in love with a female sibling, after all."

"If Gojyo were a girl... I'd be sick, it would be too much like mom–" Jien stared at the pained look on Hakkai's face, and the puzzle slid together. "No."

Hakkai didn't meet Jien's eyes.

"You have got to be kidding."

"Well, we're twins. It's really only natural."

"That's seriously fucked up."

"We use birth control."

"Oh, man, way too much information!" Jien leapt from his chair and started pacing. "I can't believe you're using your own fucked up life to condone mine."

Hakkai took his chair and looked into Jien's coffee cup. "Well, of the two, forgive me if I think that yours is simpler, overall."

"I'm not playing 'let's compare incest stories' here!"

"Jien."

Jien stopped and met Hakkai's gaze. There was no pity in his eyes, nor any judgment.

"I'm only saying that love is truly blind," Hakkai said.

"He's my brother."

"He's your lover."

"We can't _be_ lovers."

"Well, it appears you can't be brothers, either. Do you want him in your life?"

"I don't want to live without him," Jien choked.

"Then you'll have to find some way of living with him." Hakkai stood. "I think it's time to ask yourself what course of action will do the most harm. Having your brother as a lover? Or being alone, and condemning him to be the same?"

"He'll find someone else."

"If I know Gojyo, he'll bury himself in a string of 'someone else'. But that's not truly who Gojyo is. I think both of you are very much alike in your tendency to be blindly loyal to those you love. Would you betray his loyalty and love for you, and condemn him to continue a life of empty one-night stands?"

Jien collapsed back in his chair and buried his head in his hands. "It's insane."

"Hardly more so than believing Gojyo to be a half-demon prince and yourself a fullblooded youkai," Hakkai pointed out.

"What if people find out?"

"You'll have to be discreet then, won't you?"

"How do you do it?" When Hakkai didn't answer right away, Jien looked up to see him looking very uncomfortable. "Look, I won't tell anyone."

"Ah haha," Hakkai rubbed the back of his head.

Jien finally got it. "Oh, fuck. You manipulative bastard. You're not really having an incestuous relationship with your twin sister, are you?"

"She married and moved to America six years ago," Hakkai admitted. "Three nephews and nieces already, with twins on the way. Thank the _kami_ that they're half a world away, or I'd be babysitting on a daily basis."

Jien shivered. "That's a really fucking scary thought."

"Yes, it is."

Jien sighed. "Look. Thanks for stopping by and talking to me."

"Even if I exaggerated my relationship with my sister, the gist of my argument remains the same," Hakkai replied soberly as he opened the door. "Think about it. But not for too long."

"I will." Jien watched as Hakkai let himself out, then whispered, "Fuck."

He sat in silence for a long time, staring at nothing, before eventually returning to his storyboard.

Hours later, he realized that Gojyo’s face stared up at him from every panel.

*****

Gojyo set volume three of _Futatsu no Sekai_ in the grass and crossed his arms behind his head, staring up at the sky.

He was amazed at how much of Jien had been in Doku all along. In the manga, Gojyo's mother had been the daughter of a Japanese feudal lord, dark-haired and slender, and ultimately just a plot device to introduce half-blooded baby Prince Gojyo into the world, conveniently dying in childbirth. But when they'd been on the train, Doku had described Gojyo's real mother, who was the exact opposite of the manga character.

He'd also described her death. Gojyo's thoughts shied away from that. It had been hard enough listening to Jien talk about it as if it were a story. He wasn't ready to deal with the real life version.

Not without Jien around.

There were other things, too, lighter things, things that had made Gojyo snort with amusement. Mostly it was little characteristics, like Prince Gojyo liking spicy things and hating bonito flakes. There was an incident with a Ramune bottle that Gojyo remembered from childhood, mainly because he'd been sure he'd have to go through life stuck with it on his finger, and he'd laughed until he was sick at the look on Jien's face when he'd finally put enough bacon grease on Gojyo's hand to make the bottle slide off and it had hit him right between the eyes.

But he'd been there for Gojyo. It would have been hell going through life with a Ramune bottle on his finger. He would never have been able to palm cards with it.

Gojyo's tenth birthday had made it in, too, complete with Doku offering the prince a candle that he'd scrounged from somewhere, lighting it, and telling Gojyo that it was a human tradition to make a wish and blow it out.

Gojyo still remembered his wish. He wondered if the Prince Gojyo in the manga had wished for his Doku to always be with him, too.

So in a way, the manga was pretty cool. He'd lost some of those memories, and finding them again felt pretty nice.

It was ironic that with all of the nice feelings, reading the manga from beginning to end pissed Gojyo off so badly.

In the manga, Doku was Jien. Gojyo didn't even need Hakkai to help him figure that one out. And Doku totally had the hots for Prince Gojyo.

Jien was a complete ass.

Had he ever thought what would happen if Gojyo had been straight as an arrow and picked up one of the damned books? He'd been whining about how he never wanted Gojyo to hate him, but fuck it, he'd apparently have been perfectly fine with a straight Gojyo thinking his brother was a big pervert for crushing out on him in a graphic novel.

"Jien is an idiot."

Someone snorted nearby, and Gojyo sat up.

Jien.

He was standing there in his ugly polyester suit jacket and dress slacks again, scratching his head and looking pretty embarrassed.

"Yeah, I'm an idiot."

"Don't forget a complete ass, too," Gojyo said.

"Okay. I'm a complete ass, too."

"A complete ass who can't see what's right in front of him."

"Yeah. That."

"A complete ass who doesn't have the common courtesy to ask for his brother's opinion about something that affects said brother."

"Ouch." Jien squinted apologetically, looking impossibly gorgeous.

"Not to mention a pervert who cock-teases strangers on commuter trains and then leaves them with blue balls."

"Wait a second. That one wasn't my fault."

Gojyo ran that one through his bullshit meter and figured Jien had a point. "Okay. Withdrawn."

Jien smiled, his face glowing with so much love that Gojyo rolled his eyes. Totally oblivious.

"You're an ass," Gojyo said again, just to make sure Jien understood.

"We already covered that."

"Did we cover the fact that it's nobody else's business what we do?"

"Yeah, we did."

"What about the fact that it takes two to tango?"

"Not in those exact words, but yeah, you're right. Again."

"How about the fact that I can't live without you?"

Jien sighed. "I didn't mean to hurt you."

"I know that. Doesn't change shit, though."

"No. It doesn't."

"So," Gojyo said, "anything I need to know?"

"Only that if we don't find somewhere private soon, I'm going to fuck you right here in the middle of the park."

"Shit." Gojyo rolled to his feet and grabbed Jien's hand. "Let's start looking!"

Seclusion was easier to find than Gojyo had thought it would be, if you counted behind a rack of chairs stored next to the bandstand as private. Within moments Jien had unzipped him, and then he was lost to the hot, wet bliss of Jien's mouth.

Gojyo occasionally bit his lip to keep from making noise, but whispered sex talk didn't count. "Fuck. Just like that, I like it when you suck it light like that and use your tongue in the slit. Oh, yeah, roll those balls in your hand, oh, crap, that feels so good."

He laid his hands on Jien's head, but he didn't try to direct his movements. Jien pulled his own cock out of his pants and began to jerk himself off. When Gojyo couldn't hold it any longer, he shivered as Jien swallowed and sucked and licked every drop he could find. Then Gojyo dropped to his knees, dick still hanging out, so he could hold Jien as he trembled through his own climax.

Gojyo cleaned them both up and tucked them away, then pulled Jien into his arms. Jien buried his nose in Gojyo's neck.

"You really have a thing for my neck, don't you?"

"I love your neck," came the muffled reply. "I could cast your neck in bronze and build a shrine to it." There was silence for a moment. "Gojyo?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

"Don't leave me," Gojyo whispered.

"Never," Jien murmured.

  
_fin_   



End file.
